Sunday, November 8, 2009

Speed thrills, but kills or at least screws

      Now, since its my blog so i have taken the liberty to add a few words to the already famous and now very common line. It was 6-30 in the evening and i was having my cup of bournvita( yes it is still my tan aur man ki shakti) when my phone rang, pissed, i got up and picked up the phone........

"Dude i am screwed", rajat said
"its no time for rhyme buddy, i am very pissed", i said
"Its no rhyme man, i have met with an accident,i have fractured both my hands"
"yeah right, then how is it then you are making me a  call with those very same hands huh??"
"uhhh , nurse is holding the phone for me"
"really?? how does she look???"
"a**hole, come down to bandra man, i am suffering"

     I got a lot of scolding from the guy because he had indeed fractured both his hands, a suffering he was facing for the second time in four years,the reason and means being different both the times, earlier it was on a bajaj chetak and this time it was on his swanky hero honda hunk. The means, i ll come to that later.

      Now what causes accidents??? No i am no RTO analyst and neither i am doing any case study, but a plain simple observation. I can attribute it to three reasons.

1) Intentionally or unintentionally, the women are are the reason for a man's downfall( quite literally). A guy is riding his bike with his girl friend sitting behind, his adrenaline(excitement) and testosterone( manhood quotient) rushes surely to a very high level. He would always want his girl to believe that he is one of the coolest riders in the town.Impression is not the only reason for accidents because one my friend riding his so called safe bike(Unicorn) in a safest manner couldn't resist public display of his affection whilst riding his bike and ended up hitting a hand cart right in front of my eyes. It resulted in bruises on foreheads,his wallet became lighter by 7000 and got a few laughs and taunts from all of us.If the girl sitting behind is not a boy's girl friend, he would still like to impress her by some way or other, irrespective of his interest in the girl, i own a pulsar 150 and since i am very happily single(no pun intended) i have had the pleasure of more than 1 girl sitting on bike (which committed people dont get), but unfortunately i have never had the chance to show off because all of them have been a scraredy cats

  "phat(sound)!!!!!, drive slowly, we are not in an aeroplane"
 " stop the bike abhishek, i am not going to ride behind , if its going to be this way"

The third way in which girls causes accidents are by walking on the footpaths and the bye lanes, The guys can never have enough of a show off and when they see a chic on a footpath they dont miss a chance to impress. To solve this girl menace, we can either ban girls from walking on footpaths, stop them from sitting behind boys or give boys a horses view blocker.

2) The second reason for bike accidents is what we can call "khujli". The itch to do something out of this world. It was a chilled winter morning, the bike was only 3 months old, i was riding it for the first to the college which lies on the highway, i was riding smoothly at 50-60 odd when i felt the urge( khujli in crude language) to twist the throttle hard, i did so, the speed went from 60 - 70  - 80 - 90 -100- 112, the wind was gushing in my helmet, my bike was flying, i saw a tempo some 1 km ahead, i thought to myself, haa i ll just go past it, but suddenly at that speed my handle felt stiff and it became very hard to turn it by much, some how i managed to whizz past that tempo. This incident blew the hell out of me, My speed came down like the mercury of a  thermometer kept in a freezer. I imagined my mangled bike and amputed  body parts in case of a crash at that speed, since then i dare go past 60, and since then i have never received any slap on my back or any warning from the girls sitting behind me. The friend of mine who is currently in hospital nurturing his fractured hand, also had this khujli and skidded of the bike at quite some speed.

3) The 3rd reason is one of the lame reasons, its generally because of the fault of the people walking in and out of the road, a toddler coming on the road or a dog or cat coming on the road. and sometimes it is the bad condition of the road itself. I wont dwell into this much because frankly i dont have much to write on this reason, but if you scroll up a bit i had written about my friend suffering for the second time, yes the first time he was sitting casually on his dad's parked bajaj chetak when a maruti 800 hit him and dragged him for some 500 m before stopping, by then he had suffered multiple fractures on his leg and skull, 3 months in hospital, 1 yr wasted academically and then a change in stream next year were the consequences of this accident.

   Then what are the solutions??? how to be a safe while driving??? No i wont advise people to wear helmets, lets leave that to government and traffic police. 1) Try not to show off in front of a girl, if its your GF, she is already impressed, if she is of no interest, then you need not impress. 2) Try avoiding the khujli by just thinking over the consequences and last 3) pray to god that you dont share the luck of my friend......


Ekta said...

reason no.1 was outstandingly correct... :P
nice description..

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