Saturday, July 31, 2010

Love for Friend,friend for love.........

           First Sunday of every August is celebrated as World Friendship day, and here it is, the first Sunday of august. The site in any gathering of friends tomorrow will be similar. Friends will be tying friendship bands to each other, sobbing, hugging and laughing aloud together. Although some may say that friendship doesn’t need one particular day to be celebrated, it is something which should be celebrated every day and every moment, true, but none of these arguments can take out the enthusiasm out of that one day, where we find more reasons than one to celebrate the togetherness.

          I have always been blessed with great friends wherever I have been (including the kinds who screw you at every given opportunity in sight). But I have shared a very strange relation with one friend. A relation, which I find it hard to describe in words.

         “I love you for this abhi”. She had said when I had resolved her issue with a common friend who had turned a jilted lover. That was a start of this strange relationship. She is a year older to me and one of the most chilled out girl I ever met. Although amazingly beautiful, I always saw a great fun buddy in her. It was not these lines that changed it all, it was the way she poured her heart out to me when she wanted to get rid of the mess. I came to know her better and knew that there was more to her than just being a fun buddy. I developed a feeling, which I knew was not love, because I had been in love and knew this was not love, but still this feeling kept dragging me towards her. We had a lot in common and shared same ideas about a lot of things and we often joked that we would make a great couple if we get married. Every time such a discussion happened, my heart raced and I found asking myself about this strange bond and attraction that I have for her. And deep down in my heart I knew we would make an amazing couple and knew that we would be happy together, but the feelings which lead to this conclusion were simply unclear to me.

        “Abhi” she said in a soft but a very disappointed voice
        “what?” I said, alarmed at how a usually cheerful girl was so dull
        “That guy screwed up my life, he really played out a jilted lover’s role” she said referring to the common friend who was smitten by her. “He called up my place and told all bullshit about me to my parents , although they didn’t trust him, but this has lead to hastening of marriage proposals and as a matter of fact I am being married off to a guy 8 yrs older to me living and working in a small city”.

       “What!!!!!!!!!” I repeated the same statement again with much more intensity than last time. “that damned guy is 8 yrs older to you dear, and for god’s sake you are an MBA, and he works and lives in a small city and I am pretty sure that his salary might be only half as yours”. I said, trying to sound as rational as I could.

      “I can’t do anything now, my parents are hell bent, and you know they really liked you……” she said laughing and crying at the same time.

     “Then I’ ll marry you” I said in ‘I-mean-it’ tone

      “Too late, you will take 4 more years to marry me and my parents just want it right away “

            After she hung up, I could not draw any sleep, I did not know why I said that I ll marry her, was it actually love? Was this the way love felt like? I closed my eyes and left everything that was running in my mind. I wanted to feel lighter, free from all the thoughts. I felt afloat in the nothingness and then it struck me.

           All my confusion in the last few cleared in that one moment. Was it love? Yes it was. Was it friendship? Yes it was. She was a friend for love. It was not a lover’s love, it was a love you have for a person you always want to see happy even if you have to take the world on. When I said I will marry you, I said that because I was unable to see her pain, I could not see her life getting ruined and I knew, I may not love her like a lover does, but I could keep her happy. The feeling which I could not decipher in months was clear to me now. It was love indeed, and she was the friend I loved, beyond myself and beyond anything. And she was a friend indeed.

                She will be married in a few months and all I still hope and pray for  is that she finds some happiness in the disaster which awaits her.

                                Love you my friend


newer post

Saturday, July 3, 2010

Used and Thrown?

    "  Help a girl when she is in trouble and she will remember you.............................

         When she is in trouble again"

These are the messages and emails which always float around mostly within boys and sometimes as a rareity within girls as well. One Email along with this message which comes to my mind is the one which classifies boys in the scheme of things of girls, like friend , best friend and bestest friend and so on so forth, But never a boy friend(mind you!!!!!) and advices boys to switch from best friend to boy friend.

    So after much deliberation and personal experience(yes as always) I decided to analyze why boys do it? 

      Lets take a very simple example to this effect, Boy likes a girl who is( with or without his knowledge) already committed ......


     Boy- "Hey nisha coming out for a movie, its been a long time"
     Girl- "No, Rahul today after a long time swapnil has agreed to come out for a hindi movie with me, Just imagine(exclaiming)"
     Boy-"No issues"(Sorely disappointed)


     Boy-"Hey Nisha stop crying, c'mon I can't see you cry, its not worth spending your tears on a moron like swapnil , you deserve someone better"
     Girl-"You are right, he is such a moron, I am wasting my time with him"
     Girl-"I really wish Rahul that my BF was like you"


               After 'N' such conversations and praises for Rahul by Nisha which makes rahul go on cloud nine, one fine day( which usually happens to be in a day or two of Nisha's so called break up)

     Girl-"Hey Rahul guess what"
     Boy-" What!!!!!!!!"( thinking he is in for a proposal)
     Girl-"Swapnil is not a bad guy after all, you know he sent me a sorry card and a bouquet"
      Boy-"Yeah"( In as low a voice as possible)
     Girl-"In fact I think he still the sweet heart I loved, thank you Rahul for all the support you gave, I will always remember that!!!!"

   The boy hangs up the phone assuming that the girl will always remember his good deeds and the girl hangs up the phone knowing that she will have the boy when she is going through a bad phase.

               Now all those guys reading the blog might agree in unison and all the girls reading this may label me as anti-feminine, but don't jump to conclusions like rahul did in my story about being proposed. As an epilogue to my story the girl keeps on calling the guy with similar problems and apparently only when she is in trouble and after sometime the guy gets pissed and moves on or blasts out his feelings at the girl leaving the 'poor' girl to believe that all men are pigs and opportunists.

              So lets start with the analysis. Boys first(for a change). The boy has every reason to believe that he was used, but does he ever think why he was used? And does ever bother to think that he may not have been actually used? Having feelings for a committed girl and then even nurturing thoughts that he may actually stand a chance of relationship with a girl is like a wild goose chase. The goose may come right within your grasp and then slip away from right under your nose. He will give all the suggestions,mercy and shoulder to cry to a girl when she is in trouble and when she is out of it he expects the girl to be the same cry baby and always use his shoulder. In short he always wants the girl to be in trouble so that she comes to him crying always. My suggestion to all such boys, avoid any such notion and expectations and you will be saved of lot of heart break.

            Now about the girls. If the guy in question is to be blamed, girls can't go empty handed can they? It will be so unfair if that were to happen! If anyone were to say that the girl is unaware of the guys feeling for her then I will disagree with those people hands down.She knows he will be their for her when she needs him because she knows he likes her. Meddling with the fire that cooks may lead to burning of hands. The girl has two options, Don't use the help of a person who likes you, especially emotional help or else if you are using his help then don't drop the help machine once it has been used. Keep using this machine or it will catch rust and would be useless for use next time.

                Last word to all the rahuls out their, Don't chase a wild goose and rather become a wild goose or else a Brahmachari, and to all those Nisha, Their are people beyond swapnil and in life whom you need to look after,or stop using any help.

newer post
newer post older post Home