Pakistan: A problem child of a troubled mother

It had been exactly an year since I had not visited my friend's home. Yes, he had traveled to UK for his higher studies, and yes, practically I had no reason to go to his place. But theoretically I had offended his mom and his kid sister. More so his kid sister because her supply of chocolates had been reduced drastically over the past one year. So when he finally came to India for visiting his family, I got an opportunity to wash away my theoretical sins and finally visited his home.

"I am so sorry Gia, I could not visit you for so long, how are you?" I said, trying to sound like an 8 year old
"This is not done, I won't talk to you" She said, sounding haughty.
"Ok, here you go, Is a cadbury good enough deal for you to start talking to me again?" I offered, "Let me make the deal more delicious by making it a cadbury crunchy, How about it?" I added while taking out the chocolate from my pocket
"Yeah it will surely do" she said and snatched the chocolate from my hand. "Can I share it with my Pakistani friend?" she said, showing rare obedience.
"Pakistani friend? How do you know a Pakistani?" I said, showing all possible emotions of confusion.
"Yeah, she comes to school with a white scarf over her head, we all call her a Pakistani" She clarified.
"Ohhh" is all I could say to my this kid's mindset.

A few days later, travelling with the same friend in the suburban rail transport towards the famous VT station, I was talking to him about how south east Asians live in UK. I was recounting, how one of my friend told me that most of the fights in the city of Glasgow are picked up by Pakistanis and eventually leads to Indians being crushed in their fights. Immediately, a bearded guy with a skull cap sitting in front of me, got up and stood in the passage. I looked at my friend and he was nodding his head with his tongue out to indicate that I committed a mistake. Later, he told me, how that guy must have felt that I was talking in context of Muslims being a trouble maker in UK. I wondered how and why?

Almost every cricket lover in India remembers the T-20 cricket world cup triumph of India in South Africa in the summer of 2007. Chak De had just released and Mr. Shahrukh Khan, promoting the movie along with fulfilling his desire to watch an India-Pakistan world cup final, was present in the VIP box waving the Indian flag undeterred. India eventually won the match and SRK went down to give every player a hug. A Hindi news channel whose motto is to deliver news the fastest to its viewers spared no time in interviewing SRK. The last question of the interview went like this:

"SRK, it is known that you are a pathan from Peshawar, and since Peshawar is in Pakistan, how do you feel today, that Pakistan lost the match to India".
A stunned SRK somehow regained his composure and replied
"I am an Indian, proof of which is my passport, I was brought up on Indian values and I was there to support India. Yes, Pakistan had a good team, but I would ALWAYS WANT MY COUNTRY ,INDIA, TO WIN".

Does the news anchor know, that the Bollywood's first family i.e. the Kapoors, also belong to Peshawar. 80% of the Khanna's and Malhotra's in Bollywood are from Pakistani Punjab. Would the anchor dare to ask the same question to Ranbir Kapoor or Rishi Kapoor?

After every terror attack that occurs in this country, before anyone, including the state, central and international agencies and government can condemn the attack, the Muslim community spokesperson(usually a cleric) comes out and strongly condemns the attacks. Any attack should always be condemned by all civilized people, However when the condemnation, although truthful has an element of compulsion in it, it raises questions. Not on the community, but on us and the system. The compulsion to condemn immediately is  due to threats from right wing Hindutva groups, for they, before condemning the attack, bay for Muslim blood "for sowing the seeds of terror". So we have Aamir Khan calling a press conference to condemn the 26/11 attacks and some of  the other big stars could do with a simple tweet or a Facebook update, because they don't have a Khan appended to their name.

As clear, by many ,Muslims are categorized as Pakistanis.How many people know ,that the crescent and star flag which is seen hoisted in any Muslim congregation and is often mistaken to be Pakistani flag , is not a Pakistan flag. It is simply holy to the Muslims. How many people know, that one of the most orthodox Islamic school of thought, the Dar-ul-uloom in Deoband, which is infamous for publishing Fatwas against Sania Mirza for her skirt, Salman Khan for bringing in Ganpati and more recently, Muslim women for going for jobs, was one of the first Muslim organization to out-rightly reject the idea of partition of India into a Muslim Pakistan from the rest of India. It said that Idea of Pakistan was political and there was nothing Islamic about creation of Pakistan. How many people know, that the first paramvir chakra in the republic of India was given to a Muslim named Abdul Hameed in a battle against PAKISTANI forces in 1965 war.
If all Muslims indeed wanted Pakistan, then what can explain the fact that until recently we had more Muslims in our country than Pakistan. It was not very difficult to migrate to Pakistan, which was ready to accept all Muslims with open arms.
Some people may come up with the argument of Indian Mujahidden and SIMI being Indian Muslim terrorist organization, then I can come up with equal number of terrorists organization which are not Muslims. Calling all Muslims Pakistanis and terrorists would be as blasphamous as calling all Tamils as supporters of LTTE , all Sikhs as supporters of Khalistan movement and all North east Indians as Chinese.

For those who read the title of the blog and are confused how the content of the blog is related to the title, the answer is , no, I don't have a problem with Pakistan, it is a beautiful country with beautiful people with a problematic government and Army, however it is the Idea of Pakistan and its eventual creation which is the problem child and  is the sole reason why the integrity of a Muslim is questioned in India,which is the troubled mother. Agreed, that a communal rift has been present in this nation since centuries, but creation of a Muslim theocratic state out of India only led to a bigger feud between the majority and the minority. Had we been together, yes, we would have fought, and fought fiercely, which we still do, but anyone's loyalty to the nation would have been unquestionable.

Omar Abdullah(J&K chief minister) had once famously said in a parliament speech:
"I am Muslim and I am an Indian and I see no distinction between the two"

I stand by his remarks.

Sacrificed Innocence

"I don't think she should be hearing all this, please send her in" Mom pleaded with my Dad.
"She is a 9 year old girl, and she should know fully about the problems we face" He said, "Come out Paramita" He added in an affectionate but stern tone.

"What can it be about?" I said to myself. "Have I done something which has caused embarrassment to the family? Anindita Ma'am did not even call Dad to school this time for not standing first in rankings at school, neither have I pulled hair of my sister Mishti in a long time". Hesitant and embarrassed, I walked out into the room, having been hiding behind  the curtain and listening to the conversation between Mom and Dad all this while.

"So dear, We have been talking about some family problems here, Your elder brother has suffered a total kidney failure and our farm has not produce any good crop this year. We are in a deep financial problem. We have to arrange for a lot of money for your brother to survive or else find a donor for him" He said with a glim of tear in his eye.

"Can we not buy it from shop? I am sure Banwari would have it, he keeps a lot of things in his shop" I said trying to suggest something useful at least.
"No, we need to find a donor for this" He said in a authoritative voice.
"What is a donor, dad?" Trying hard not to sound dumb.
"Dear, a Donor is someone who can donate one of his kidney to someone who has none"
"Ohhh, then can we not give him ?" I said, trying to sound thoughtfully.
"No, one of my kidney is infected too, I can't give him mine" He said, sounding thoroughly disappointed.

And then suddenly, My Mom started crying profusely. "If we don't get a donor or money, Doctors say your brother will die in 1 month, your brother may not have much time left, pari, not much. And we can't even sell off our land, what will we give in dowry for your marriage otherwise?" and she went on crying. And then I did, what was not expected of me, being a big girl now. I started crying too. Hugging my mom, I could not stop myself from sobbing hard, I could feel the pallu of my mom getting wet from our tears. I felt a hand on my head,I looked back. it was my elder brother.

"Don't worry pari, We will manage" he said with a smile.

That is when I decided, I will find a solution to our problems, I cannot see my mother sob, I cannot see my father so tensed and I certainly cannot let my brother die.

"Dadi Maa, how old are you?" I said, in a lost tone.
"Why do you ask, you have become very ill mannered", She said in a very harsh tone
"Can you donate your kidney to my bro, he will die otherwise, please dadi, please.You are old anyway, my brother has such a long time to go". I said, pleading with all my might.
"You Moron, How dare you shorten my age? I have a long life ahead and I am proud of that. If you want your brother to live, why do you ask me? Go give your own kidney" She said, shouting loud enough for the neighbors to hear. "Girls are always waste of resources anyway, and a burden on family, had you not existed, my son wouldn't have had to worry about your dowry" she added scornfully.

Was I really the cause of all this. Is dowry the gift parents give their daughters at marriage? How do I tell them that I don't want any gift, I will marry a rich guy? Dad told me donor is someone who can give a kidney. Can I not donate my kidney? How does one donate a kidney? and what is a kidney?

"You've gone mad" My best friend Suparna exclaimed.
"But why? I think this is the only way I can help my family, Won't you like to join me? We had promised to stay together always, It won't be tough, trust me" I said, trying to sound convincing.
"Go away, Else I will tell Anindita ma'am that you are disturbing me.

My mom had once told me that when times are bad, no body helps, not even your best friends. She was right. I had always trusted Suparna, and today, instead of helping me out, she thought of complaining about me to Anindita ma'am. So many times I had lied to ma'am to save her from the scale whipping by ma'am. But I am a big girl, I can do it alone, I will handle it all alone.

All things were in place, I cross checked everything once again. As I began climbing atop the stool, I remembered something. I got down and opened my drawer. And there it was. I thought of cross checking the letter. Anindita ma'am would be upset if I commit grammatical mistakes. I began reading...

Dear Mom and Dad,
                               I am really sorry, Because of me you could not save money for buying kidney for brother. I wanted to tell you that I do not want any gift after my marriage, I will marry a rich boy, but you wouldn't listen. Hence I decided to give kidney to brother myself. I had even asked Grandmother as well, but she said, she has a long life to live and cannot give her kidney to brother. I tried to find out ways to donate kidney, but couldn't find one. I tried to use a knife and fetch it out, but I did not know where to start looking inside my body. Hence I have decided to leave it for you to decide how to do it upon me. I guess, to donate something, one needs to die first. Hence I am ending my life, so that finally I can be useful to someone. Now you won't have to worry about brother, he will live long now, like grandmother. You even won't have to worry about my dowry gift as well. Please forgive me for giving you all the troubles.
                                                                                  
                                                                                      Yours Paramita


I realized my mistake, scribbled my name and wrote it below yours. I again climbed back on the stool. More determined than ever. I saw the elliptical rope in front of me. I could see everything through it, it didn't look different. I put my neck through it.
 "Would it pain if I do it this way? Does it pain a lot when people die?"
"Ohh, c'mon, it cannot pain more than it did when i broke my finger,it was so painful"
"Yes, it will not pain more than that" 
I smiled and kicked the stool from under me. I am trying hard to breath, but i am unable to catch any air. It is becoming harder. My chest is aching now. I am trying to get back on stool and stand up, but it has fallen too far. I am unable to use my hands or leg. My whole body had gone numb, I can't feel my body..
"Mom.....Broken finger was not this painful...................................."

This is a real story of Mamphy Sarkar of West Bengal who committed suicide on July 04th, 2011 because her brother had kidney failure and father had a degrading vision. She wrote a suicide note asking her family to use her organs, however a bigger tragedy followed, the note was found by the family after they had cremated her. Her Innocence was sacrificed under the burden of the mortal troubles. This blog is a fictional account of the events, only the premise of this blog is the same, and not the entire story.

God bless her soul.

Click here to read the news item of the above girl

Taxonomy into 9

"Bhai......." My kid sister mumbled, perched on my lap and scratching her head
"Yes" I said, expecting one more of her questions, which have increased many folds in her growing up years
"You kept all nine fasts for this Navratri, right? and today is  the last day of it..?"
"Yes, today is the last day of it, from tomorrow, you wont get to eat all the chocolate by yourself"
"Today, mom called 9 girls to feed after some pooja, is that because 9 girls represent 9 Devis?
"Yes" I literally exclaimed. "How do you know so much" asking her inquisitively
"Doesn't matter" she said shrugging off my question "What i wanna know is, does this mean, girls can be of 9 types?"
"ehh...errrr...huh" is all i could say in response.

Although her idea of girls being of only 9 types is an understatement. However, she did actually wash up my thoughts of all girls being of one type. I have written quite a few blogs on girls, always assuming them to be of one single type, but today i venture into a dangerous territory.

So after a lot of pondering on the 'Taxonomy', I came up with the following classification.

1) The eternal whiner-

 

  One of the very common types. Everything in this world has been designed as a scheme by the Gods up there to harass her. She whines when her boss gives them extra work,she whines when she has to cross the road, She whines when she has a friend who doesn't like her nail polish and she whines when her dog doesn't poop the way she wants him to. If you are a guy and interested in her, then giving her the shoulder to cry upon would go a long way in impressing her. But remember, you may be somebody whom she whines to, but it wouldn't be long before you become somebody whom she whines about.

2) The Feeble one-One of the endangered ones among the girls. She thinks that her sole purpose on this planet is to keep quiet and let someone else stand up for her. She is a spitting image of Hema Malini as Sita in "Sita-Gita". If she is shouted upon or scolded upon, she wouldn't think twice before accepting all the blame for the mishappening and chide herself for being reckless. If you are a guy and interested in her, please handle her with care,

3) The Dominant one-

 One of the emerging types among girls. She is exactly a spitting image of Hema Malini as Gita in "Sita-Gita". She never even for a moment thinks  that her ways and opinion are mistaken. She loves to dominate and hates her own type of opposite gender.If you don't do something she does, you are a loser and if you do something she doesn't you are still a loser. So when you are with her, you eat what she eats, you drink what she drinks and you sleep when asks you to sleep. She would be "oh c'mon, you can't be like this" every time you say or do something which she doesn't approve of. If you are a guy and interested in her, keep aside your ego and male chauvinism and just tread the line she wants you to.

4) Legally blonde-

She is drop dead gorgeous, she is dumb and she accepts it. She doesn't make qualms about not being intelligent. On  the contrary she is vocal about not knowing a lot of things(nothing to be honest). Her sole focus in life is to look more beautiful today than she was yesterday. She would be more than happy to delegate the decision making to others. She would finch when you try to infuse any sense into her already small in number ideas. So if you are a guy interested in her, then accept her beauty, ignore her lack of intelligence and accept the decision making process for her, she will be more than happy to be with you.

5) Illegally blonde-

She is drop dead gorgeous, she is dumb and she never accepts it. She thinks that she is  the best creature ever made by God, for she has the looks and the brains. Her focus in life, other than looking more beautiful today than she was yesterday, is  to brag to the world about her 'intelligent ideas'. She would go to any length to prove that "she knows what you are talking about". She would finch whenever you correct her 'knowledge repository'. She wants to make her own decisions and almost every time commits blunders. If  you are a guy interested in her, accept her "Intelligent ideas" and keep reassuring her that she is the most beautiful and intelligent girl you have ever met.

6) Too hot to handle-

 To begin with ,she is smoking hot ,would leave your jaw wide open for a long time when you see her for the first time and best part is that she knows you find her hot. She would never fit the "girl next door" bill. She would almost always shock you with your bold outlook. She never needs reassurance about her 'oomph' factor, she knows it. She would always be out of your reach but she would make sure you try reaching her first. She is the ideal girl friend you can have as a showcase trophy but the last girl you can take to your parent. If you are interested in her, then you have to be her male counterpart, else, you will always be trying.

7) The brainy brawn-

 She is a nerd, a geek and she gracefully accepts all of that. She may be very beautiful, but she thinks looking beautiful is a waste of time. Sometimes she can be intelligent to the level of arrogance. She wouldn't mind correcting you when you are wrong, no matter what the situation be. She may also sometimes come to think that anyone who doesn't match  up to her in intelligence is a trash can. She wants everyone around her to understand her and her ideas at one go, coz she understands  them and their ideas at one go. If you are interested in her then better be intelligent or at least act like one.

8) The career spawn-

 She may or may not be very intelligent, but she is the career focused girl. Anything which comes between her and her way to a successful career is an enemy.Her sole aim is to reach the top of the ladder, mostly by hook i.e, by hard work but if need be, she wouldn't mind being a crook. If you are a guy interested in her then prove to her that going around with you will be a profitable venture for her and her career.

9) The one-

 Yes, the elusive one. Some sightings of this now believed to be extinct type have been reported, but the reports haven't been corroborated with evidence. She is the perfect girl which guys so often describe. All of the above girl types listed above would like to believe that they fit into this category. Her description as given by guys makes many think that finding a girl with such characteristics is an achievable dream,alas not. Just take out anything negative or offensive from the above types and combine them and put it into one girl and you have the perfect one. If you are a guy interested in her, then please contact and let me know about her location, I have been waiting to meet one like this all my life.

PS- If any of you can come up with further classification, do let me know. After all, taxonomy of girls is never accurate and certainly never easy,Charles Darwin would agree. 

Fundamental Rights:Re-Defined

"So do you remember it now?" My mom said, with a smile, she knew she had won it,finally..


It has been more than 10  years since I last learnt them, our Fundamental rights, guaranteed to us by our constitution. To say the least, I was embarrassed , that all I could remember about them was their count i.e 6. My mom asked me, at least name them with proper definitions and I could only name 2-3 of them. 'Shame on you' she muttered as she went in fetched an old dust ridden Civics text book and asked me to skim through. Which I did. And this time I understood what it actually meant in present context(I admit, I mugged them up for exams in 7th std). 

I am sure, there are many like me who studied the fundamental rights only for Social Sciences(सामाजिक विज्ञानं ) . Here they are, simplified, in sync with year 2011.

1) Right to equality, including equality before law, prohibition of discrimination on grounds of religion, race, caste, sex or place of birth, and equality of opportunity in matters of employment- 

 It means that the State cannot discriminate any of the Indian citizens on the basis of their caste, creed, colour, sex,gender, religion or place of birth. However, its a law of nature that no two humans are equal. Lets understand it better. 

    On the religious front, the constitution guarantees that no discrimination will be done with minorities, however, if the BJP led NDA alliance is ruling, its is requested of the minorities to please adjust,you sometimes not find employment in govt due to your religion. If you are in Mumbai, you may also not be able  to rent or buy a flat in some of the posh buildings,hence you are encouraged  to live in minority populated areas.

The Constitution also considers every caste equal,and strongly believes that no one should harbor any castist ideology. However, it has made a provision of reservation for the backward classes. The constitution assures that the govt will try in its entire capacity to ensure that this reservation policy reaches to every member of the backward class and not the affluent few. The Constitution also requests the members of open category to forego any castist attitude, against any caste or the reservation system itself(even if they are suffering because of it) as it is a punishable offence to do so. The reservation system may tend to make castes unequal further,but the sole aim of the constitution is to ensure no caste is discriminated upon, really!.

2) Right to freedom of speech and expression, assembly, association or union, movement, residence, and right to practice any profession or occupation

but...

some of these rights are subject to security of the State, friendly relations with foreign countries, public order, decency or morality.

Every Artist, be it writer, film maker  or a painter also come under the purview of Freedom of speech and expression. However, the expression or speech should any of the millions of communities or tribes. It should also not offend some of  the lesser civilized political parties, because otherwise a law and order situation may arise which the state is not in capacity to handle, not to mention the threat to your life. It is hence suggested that a prior review be done in consent with all the communities and political parties before expressing your polarized views.

Constitution also gives you the right to assembly and association, however , if your union or association is not backed by any political party, its not gonna be dissolved. Hence before forming an association, make sure you have the blessings of any one of the political party's high command.

You can also live in any part of India freely, however if you are in Mumbai, you need to know Marathi and present yourself as a Marathi, better still, stay away from it. You also cannot practice any profession  in Mumbai because you are not the "Son of the Soil", if you try to , you may end up facing the wrath of lesser civilized political parties. If you intend to visit Chennai, please make sure you don't use any other language than Tamil.

Keeping above precautions in mind, the constitution guarantees you your Freedom.

3) Right against exploitation, prohibiting all forms of forced labor, child labour and traffic in human beings-

The right against exploitation, provides for two provisions, namely the abolition of trafficking in human beings and forced labor. Child labor is a heinous crime, and anyone who employs a child below 14 years is guilty under Indian law. However, this would apply to only those kids working in tea stalls or garbage collection. Any kid working for the entertainment industry doesn't come under the category of child labor, the basic premise may be same, a kid working for something and getting paid, but kids working in entertainment industry are affluent and are doing a novel job. Also the child labor rule may be exempted for contractors undertaking civic construction contracts for development of cities and towns. A kid taking part in such development will be a proud contributor in country's development after all.

4) Right to freedom of conscience and free profession, practice, and propagation of religion-

Right to freedom of religion grants religious freedom to all citizens of India. The objective of this right is to sustain the principle of secularism in India. According to the Constitution, all religions are equal before the State and no religion shall be given preference over the other. Citizens are free to preach, practice and propagate any religion of their choice. 

However it is entirely alright, if any particular religious community decides to propagate their religion by sometimes force and at other times lending money to poor people and asking them to convert and not return the money(in the name of LORD).

Also if however, any religious community(or a member thereof) doesn't follow the above mentioned ways of propagating religion and tries to spread the religion only in the name of God and and teachings of religion, he may have to face the wrath of people like Dara Singh in Orrisa and the person(s) run a high risk of being burnt alive in their sleep,be careful!

5) Right of any section of citizens to conserve their culture, language or script, and right of minorities to establish and administer educational institutions of their choice-

As India is a country of many languages, religions, and cultures, the Constitution provides special measures, in Articles 29 and 30, to protect the rights of the minorities. Any community which has a language and a script of its own has the right to conserve and develop it. No citizen can be discriminated against for admission in State or State aided institutions.

However, as noted in the exceptions of rights above, your language or script should not offend any of the lesser civilized political parties. If you are in any regional city, you have to completely forget your culture and adopt the local culture. The local state government will help your cause printing all the official documents only in vernacular language and if you cannot cooperate and don't get a job or admission, please don't claim discrimination on basis of language . 

The Central government in its endeavor to make Hindi as official language of the nation, has decided to document everything in Hindi.So anybody who doesn't understand Hindi well enough, please find a tutor(Constitution also provides for free education!). The Hindi curriculum in school will be so heavily तत्सम (Tatsam-Sanskritized) that every instance of Urdu/Hindustani will be erased and eventually making Hindi and Sanskrit a single language.

6) Right to constitutional remedies for enforcement of Fundamental Rights. -

Right to constitutional remedies empowers the citizens to move a court of law in case of any denial of the fundamental rights. For instance, in case of imprisonment, the citizen can ask the court to see if it is according to the provisions of the law of the country. If the court finds that it is not, the person will have to be freed. 

However, the constitution doesn't take into account the time it may take for justice to be delivered, it is left on the better judgement of the citizen using this right to take into account these factors. It may also happen that the government out of fear of losing in the next election, declare a National emergency to get its working sorted eg. 1975 emergency, in such a case, this right first, and every other right will cease to be effective.

Other than the citizens, the Constitution also provides for anyone who is not a citizen to file a  habeas corpus against any detention, the person in question may have been someone who may have killed 100 people in front of 100 witnesses, but our divine constitution doesn't differentiate, when it comes to judiciary!


So these were the new definitions of the Fundamental rights as defined in our constitution. Either the makers of constitution were terribly mistaken or may be the subsequent generations in India managed to tweak the constitution. What goes without saying is, today, the original definitions don't hold true.


In today's India, only a child in womb is the one who is equal to every other child in womb, the moment it decides to come out, his future,status and his equality would be decided by the condition of hospital he is born in(Lilawati, or Rajawadi!).

Immobile life

10..9..8..7..6

Cutting through the late night traffic in Mumbai on my sweet pulsar I saw last few seconds of the traffic light being green before it turned red

"I can make it, c'mon" I said under my breath

5..4..3..2..1

"Should I stop?"

"No I think I should move on"

"Oh shit, the car from other side has already started moving, SOS, apply breaks, quick quick quick"

"Why the F*** is my bike wobbling?"

"Oh shit,I have fallen down, why the hell ME, why  me GOD?"

And there I was,down and out besides my bike right in the middle of the road under the Ghatkopar(E) flyover . Trying to act as if it was a minor accident, I got up instantly and tried  to lift my bike up, in an instant, everything around me seemed hazy, an excruciating pain shot up through my left shoulder, I felt it, and the bones seemed a bit out of shape and I knew I have a broken collar bone. A few good Samaritans pulled the bike up and asked me to sit near a pole, I started with a step and fumbled, and knew, that my ankle doesn't seem alright.

I decided to give shocks to my family in installments rather than at one go, so Shock 1) I called up my dad and told him that I have taken a fall, come and pick me up. Shock 2) When he came I told him, I may have a broken shoulder. Shock 3) When we reached hospital, the X-ray showed I have a broken leg as well.

However destiny reserved its biggest shocks for me, Shock 1) When in a casual tone the doctor told me, I need to undergo my first ever surgery for ankle repair and I ll have stay in hospital  for a week.

With drop of water dripping on your head and your hands and legs tied, this form of Chinese torture is considered to be the worst, but I beg to differ. I say, put a normal, agile and active person in hospital in immobile condition, and thats the worst torture. And when you are admitted into the hospital just a day before the semi final match of India-Pakistan, and the hospital doesn't even have TV, it becomes a living hell. So here I was, lying straight on a hospital bed with a broken left hand and a broken right leg. My daily routine started off at 4 am when the staff woke me up to take a bath(which I could never take due to my extreme immobility), then the same staff would ask me to sleep again, amidst their loud shouting and conversation. At 8 am, they used to serve Bread butter(Hardly any butter visible) and tomato soup(all I could see was red water). Followed by this, I was allowed a few visitors. Visitors quite understandably had only one query, how did this happen. Initially, I explained everything out of my pain and enthusiasm and agony of being immobile. But after a day or two it became a monotonous  routine. Every middle aged visitor had only one conclusion, Bikes kill, which was never encouraging.That one week was so boring, that i still remember the pattern of a patch on the wall above and ceiling fan.

Coming home after a week to home with a heavily laden plastered leg and an extremely delicate shoulder, I was showered with all the home made delicacies. Visitors who missed out cribbing about bike travel at hospital, came to meet me at home to finally crib about it. Almost everyone either brought a bouquet or fruits, fed up with gifts which I couldn't use I had to tell my friends to bring something like chocolates which only "I alone" can enjoy. However, in absence of wheel chair, I was left to the mercy of my poor revolving chair(which became my mode of transport for a lot of weeks to come!). With only one leg and one hand active, even my daily chores were very difficult for me to handle by myself. Occasionally, I would move my shoulder out of habit in sleep and I would get up shouting in pain.

Finally after two weeks, doctor removed my stitches(I have talked about pain so much, that it would look petty if I talk about the pain of removing stitches) and advised me to take physiotherapy sessions. Two weeks after experiencing excruciating pain of a broken bone, I experienced the next level of pain. Day after day, the physiotherapist went on tearing into my leg, a movement by even a few degrees gave me jitters(This went on for Eight more weeks). While my leg was being tortured, my shoulder was quietly recovering and after four weeks, it became more mobile and less painful, which came as a relief, because now, some of my daily chores were now managed by myself.

Any one who has fractured bone will ask only one question to the doctor, "How much time will the bone take to heal?" and the answer would be six weeks. I counted each day and each week for six weeks. And away I went to the doctor the day I completed 6 weeks. He advised more physiotherapy, and destiny gave me shock  2) The doctor prescribed a walker to me and I was expecting to walk straight away on my two legs the moment my accident turned 6 weeks old. The walker was to be used for 4 weeks!.

After gaining enough confidence of using the walker, I decided to join my office back. I was glad to see my office desk back, though I had never thought I would miss it, but 8 weeks of absence from office and immobility made me realize that there are things more boring than office. All my team members swarmed my desk inquiring about my health. I was pampered to no end by my team mates. The watchman at the access gate asked me to get a special card made, Surprised at his suggestion I asked him why, and he pointed at  the walker, indicating my disability, while I was talking to the watchman, a girl asked me if she could fetch an auto for me, and I realized what a disabled person goes through, he/she doesn't need help, they need acceptance, that they can manage things on their own, We try to help them on pettiest of things, trying to be good. I  denied the offer and thanked the girl for her offer(which under normal circumstances I would never reject!).

And now I am writing this blog on a day when I have finally started walking normally with a stick(quite normal considering what I had gone through over last 11 weeks). This accident has virtually taken 12 weeks of my life, but these 12 weeks have been memorable for me. But these are some memories I would never like to re-encounter!

PS- God forbid if you are in such a situation, never reject a girls offer, because this offer may offend your ego now, but it will always boost your love. Don't let ego kill love!

Women-The reason for our existence

Alright, I know, I have written so many blogs on the female variant of the species Homo-sapiens that I can claim expertise in it. However this time, its different(please don't consider this as just another marketing gimmick!).

8th March of every year is celebrated as International Womens day across the globe. I would not dwell into its history as it doesn't hold as much significance as the day itself. Many may consider it as a western world's just another reason for celebration. I would not disagree either, after all, all countries are not blessed with so many holidays as India is. However I would still like to see it from India's perspective.

India has always been a country where women have held a special place. Amongst the 330 million odd Indian gods, the Goddesses hold a special place. Be it Durga or Parvati or Kali. All of them are revered by the faithfuls, Not to mention that up in the heavens too, the decisions and policies of Gods are often believed to be driven by wives of Gods i.e Goddesses. Coming back to the mortal world, Kerala, God's own country is proud to be a matriarchal society(quite rightly God's own country). What that means is, women are the leader of the family, its the husband which goes to his wife's home after marriage, that was quite long ago,not anymore it seems. Coming closer in history, the Indian independence movement was driven by powerful females like Sarojni Naidu amongst others. After Independence, the most powerful Prime minister India ever had was a woman, Indira Gandhi. Her daughter-in-law controls the current political scenario quite adeptly. Indian women are going places, be it Indira Nooyi(pepsico's CEO) or Late Kalpana Chawla(astronaut).

Of the shining Indian women movement, a few things stuck me.......

"Whats your name dear?" someone asked her
"Mehek" she replied, rolling her tongue out
"How old are you? and who do you stay with?"
"I am 4, no 5 no 4.5, I stay with my uncle, My parents have gone to meet God. But my uncle is taking good care of me. He gives me ice-cream everyday. And he plays a game with me everyday after coming home" she said, confused what else to say
 "What game?" he curiously asked
"He removes my clothes, and then he removes his clothes, then we lie together on bed. He does something to me and I feel a tickling sensation between my legs. Its so much fun" She said with all the excitement in her voice
"WHAT??????" he said.

The so called uncle was arrested by the man himself who was asking these questions to the little girl perched up on a bench in a park all alone. The man is an IPS officer, and the uncle, a successful man who took advantage of this orphan girl.

Little girls are not always the target and common man is always not the accused.

A girl in Banda district was inhumanely raped by the MLA from SP. Worse still, the police made a blooper by disclosing the girls identity and arresting her for theft instead. The girl has threatened to become a dacoit if she doesn't get justice(as if phoolan devi was not enough). If you think, this is a one off case. A NCP MLA from jalgaon is accused of a similar crime against  a girl on the pretext of giving her job. And if even this is not sufficient, a cop attached to a police station in Mumbai committed suicide, reason, he was accused in a rape case and had been absconding. If the lawmakers and law protectors indulge in crime against women, who will safeguard them?

And if people think, rape is the only crime that can happen, think again. An Indian diplomat attached to Indian embassy in UK was accused of domestic violence. Cases of dowry harassment and female infanticide are taken in pride by the Indian society. Everybody and anybody who has stared at a woman, tried to seek any attention out of a woman in any form is an accused for sexual harassment. Everyday when a girl leaves her home, she anticipates and expects that she will be stared at in public, she will be suppressed in office. Unfortunately and shamefully for us, the women have accepted it as a part of their life.

For a nation which recites Durga chalisa with ease. Takes pride in Indira Gandhi and Kalpana chawla. For the set of politicians who pass the bill Women reservation on one hand, and are accused of rape on other hand, its shameful and pitiful.

If we can get rid of the 'Sati' system efficiently, then why not these crimes?

A man is not a man because he can control a lady, he is a man if he can protect a lady. And if we can't protect women, the reason why we exist on this earth, then we cant protect our existence either.

Signing off-
Abhishek
A proud  pro-feminist