Thursday, October 6, 2011

Taxonomy into 9

"Bhai......." My kid sister mumbled, perched on my lap and scratching her head
"Yes" I said, expecting one more of her questions, which have increased many folds in her growing up years
"You kept all nine fasts for this Navratri, right? and today is  the last day of it..?"
"Yes, today is the last day of it, from tomorrow, you wont get to eat all the chocolate by yourself"
"Today, mom called 9 girls to feed after some pooja, is that because 9 girls represent 9 Devis?
"Yes" I literally exclaimed. "How do you know so much" asking her inquisitively
"Doesn't matter" she said shrugging off my question "What i wanna know is, does this mean, girls can be of 9 types?"
"ehh...errrr...huh" is all i could say in response.

Although her idea of girls being of only 9 types is an understatement. However, she did actually wash up my thoughts of all girls being of one type. I have written quite a few blogs on girls, always assuming them to be of one single type, but today i venture into a dangerous territory.

So after a lot of pondering on the 'Taxonomy', I came up with the following classification.

1) The eternal whiner-

 


  One of the very common types. Everything in this world has been designed as a scheme by the Gods up there to harass her. She whines when her boss gives them extra work,she whines when she has to cross the road, She whines when she has a friend who doesn't like her nail polish and she whines when her dog doesn't poop the way she wants him to. If you are a guy and interested in her, then giving her the shoulder to cry upon would go a long way in impressing her. But remember, you may be somebody whom she whines to, but it wouldn't be long before you become somebody whom she whines about.

2) The Feeble one-One of the endangered ones among the girls. She thinks that her sole purpose on this planet is to keep quiet and let someone else stand up for her. She is a spitting image of Hema Malini as Sita in "Sita-Gita". If she is shouted upon or scolded upon, she wouldn't think twice before accepting all the blame for the mishappening and chide herself for being reckless. If you are a guy and interested in her, please handle her with care,

3) The Dominant one-
 One of the emerging types among girls. She is exactly a spitting image of Hema Malini as Gita in "Sita-Gita". She never even for a moment thinks  that her ways and opinion are mistaken. She loves to dominate and hates her own type of opposite gender.If you don't do something she does, you are a loser and if you do something she doesn't you are still a loser. So when you are with her, you eat what she eats, you drink what she drinks and you sleep when asks you to sleep. She would be "oh c'mon, you can't be like this" every time you say or do something which she doesn't approve of. If you are a guy and interested in her, keep aside your ego and male chauvinism and just tread the line she wants you to.

4) Legally blonde-
She is drop dead gorgeous, she is dumb and she accepts it. She doesn't make qualms about not being intelligent. On  the contrary she is vocal about not knowing a lot of things(nothing to be honest). Her sole focus in life is to look more beautiful today than she was yesterday. She would be more than happy to delegate the decision making to others. She would finch when you try to infuse any sense into her already small in number ideas. So if you are a guy interested in her, then accept her beauty, ignore her lack of intelligence and accept the decision making process for her, she will be more than happy to be with you.

5) Illegally blonde-
She is drop dead gorgeous, she is dumb and she never accepts it. She thinks that she is  the best creature ever made by God, for she has the looks and the brains. Her focus in life, other than looking more beautiful today than she was yesterday, is  to brag to the world about her 'intelligent ideas'. She would go to any length to prove that "she knows what you are talking about". She would finch whenever you correct her 'knowledge repository'. She wants to make her own decisions and almost every time commits blunders. If  you are a guy interested in her, accept her "Intelligent ideas" and keep reassuring her that she is the most beautiful and intelligent girl you have ever met.

6) Too hot to handle-
 To begin with ,she is smoking hot ,would leave your jaw wide open for a long time when you see her for the first time and best part is that she knows you find her hot. She would never fit the "girl next door" bill. She would almost always shock you with your bold outlook. She never needs reassurance about her 'oomph' factor, she knows it. She would always be out of your reach but she would make sure you try reaching her first. She is the ideal girl friend you can have as a showcase trophy but the last girl you can take to your parent. If you are interested in her, then you have to be her male counterpart, else, you will always be trying.

7) The brainy brawn-
 She is a nerd, a geek and she gracefully accepts all of that. She may be very beautiful, but she thinks looking beautiful is a waste of time. Sometimes she can be intelligent to the level of arrogance. She wouldn't mind correcting you when you are wrong, no matter what the situation be. She may also sometimes come to think that anyone who doesn't match  up to her in intelligence is a trash can. She wants everyone around her to understand her and her ideas at one go, coz she understands  them and their ideas at one go. If you are interested in her then better be intelligent or at least act like one.

8) The career spawn-
 She may or may not be very intelligent, but she is the career focused girl. Anything which comes between her and her way to a successful career is an enemy.Her sole aim is to reach the top of the ladder, mostly by hook i.e, by hard work but if need be, she wouldn't mind being a crook. If you are a guy interested in her then prove to her that going around with you will be a profitable venture for her and her career.

9) The one-
 Yes, the elusive one. Some sightings of this now believed to be extinct type have been reported, but the reports haven't been corroborated with evidence. She is the perfect girl which guys so often describe. All of the above girl types listed above would like to believe that they fit into this category. Her description as given by guys makes many think that finding a girl with such characteristics is an achievable dream,alas not. Just take out anything negative or offensive from the above types and combine them and put it into one girl and you have the perfect one. If you are a guy interested in her, then please contact and let me know about her location, I have been waiting to meet one like this all my life.

PS- If any of you can come up with further classification, do let me know. After all, taxonomy of girls is never accurate and certainly never easy,Charles Darwin would agree. 

4 comments:

Arpz said...

Abhishek Hands down for this Blog
You did post mortem of Man's Brain to write these words
good job again

rohit said...

I could sense the righteousness of this one in the first para itself ;)

Great going mate.. u nailed it :D

Shivani Shastri said...

Dangerous territory...it is...but this one is safely entered and successfully won over, collecting almost all the gems from the tricky den...
Good Job again! Many girls would agree
:)

Deepti ...An X-ception said...

Gud job..:)
1oth category b likh deta ...:P

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