When the titans will shrug

"IT IS A WIN FOR EQUALITY AGAIN" screamed the headline out of the morning news paper. Puzzled, he picked up the news paper.

"15-08-2035 New Delhi : As expected since a few days, the honorable government of People's state of India passed a resolution in the parliament reserving a percentage of seats in all public mode transport based on the scheduled list of castes and tribes as listed in the constitution of India and/or economic status. Speaking from outside the parliament Mr. Sudhir Paswan , the head of state of People's state of India said,
" This bill ,although very trivial in nature, concerning only the public transport is a part of series of reforms to bring about equality of castes and classes. In our 88 years of independence, I can proudly say that we have truly moved towards equality. It first started by making a reservation in premier institutes like IIM and IIT for scheduled castes and tribes in year 2006. India wasn't a people's state then, but it was a step in right direction. Then in 2016, we introduced a bill, which made it compulsory for all private companies to reserve a certain percentage of job openings, and then eventually the position of CEO of companies was to be held only by a reserved candidate so that the hiring process could be overlooked in a transparent manner......"

He knew the rest of it, IT sector was the biggest casualty in India,  Philippines had now taken the lead in IT. Tired of reading politics, he moved on to read some other news.

"RETAILERS CANNOT IMPORT EDIBLES, CAN PURCHASE ONLY FROM INDIAN FARMERS"
.........
"GOVT CLOSES DOWN THE CABLE CAR AT VAISHNODEVI FOR LIVELIHOOD OF MULE OWNERS"
........
"NEW TAX REGIME IN PLANNING, WILL MAKE A THIRD OF EARNING GO TO UNDERPRIVILEGED SLUM DWELLERS"

He was getting late for work, if he reported late, he may lose his 30 year old job to a young 'reserved' chap. He kept the newspaper on the table, with a sigh, picked up his bag, shrugged and left home hoping that his company would last one more day, one more day of survival in People's state of India.

The above scenario is obviously an extreme kind of hypothesis, but an impression that the scenario may not be realized would be callous. Our nation today wants equality for all, an equality of opportunity for all. If equality was ever given some thought years ago, the world would have been a different place now. The lantern makers would have fought for equality of opportunity on production of electric bulbs. Horse ranch owners would have had the motor cars banned for jeopardizing the livelihood of horse and horse owners. Telegraph manufacturers would have banned telephones and telephone manufacturers would have banned satellites and mobile phones, all new inventions would have been banned for the sake of equality. And if Maharaja of Baroda had considered equality as a factor in his decision making, he wouldn't have sent B.R. Ambedkar on a scholarship to USA, he would have sent someone of lesser intelligence to study so that he can have an opportunity to equate his intelligence with Ambedkar.

Two kids, born to be neighbours, whose parents work in same organization, raised together, went to same school, both gave sole entrance exam for professional course. One gets 99%, but cannot get admission, other gets 90% and gets the admission. That is the justice of equality delivered by constitution of India, unquestionable?  The kid who did not get admission is disappointed, applies for an admission in USA, gets prompt admit, the whole neighborhood starts crying brain drain. That is the judgement of equality delivered by the great ethical Indian society , unquestionable?

 A very old Parsi industrial group signs a deal with West Bengal communist government to set up a car manufacturing plant in Singur. They pay high price to all the farmers whose land was acquired legally along with a job offer in the same plant. After a few years, the plant is ready to roll out cars, but suddenly, the farmers realize they still want to cultivate jute on that very land. They decide to stall the unit with the help of some 'Didi'. They want the land back. The industrial group demands the money they paid back, but the farmers are helpless and poor, they exhausted the money on living expenditure. The industrial group refuses to bow down. 'Didi' calls this subjugation of poor by rich, a social activist known for stalling projects and a female bookers prize winner who could only write one popular book all her life with incestous theme and spends half her time in capitalist USA, join hands with 'Didi' to bring equality and justice to farmers. The farmers damage the unit  and injure the workers inside the unit. The industrial group has enough, they abandon the plant and leave the state. The unit is brought down and land is returned to farmers. The farmers now unable to cultivate anything on that land, plead for help. The government then compensates the farmers. Happy ending?

Two friends arrive in the city of opportunities together. Both have the same qualifications, however one of them has a penchant for hard work. He works hard and gets a job at a reputed company. With his first salary he moves out of the shanty in the biggest slum of Asia built illegally, which he shared with his friend to a nice rented apartment in a distant suburb.The person who is not so hardworking continues to live in the shanty and starts working in an illegal leather factory. The hardworking person continues to grow arithmetically, but is unable to keep up with the growth of realty prices and continues living on rent. He pays all his taxes regularly. His friend meanwhile continues to grow in leather business geometrically. He has enough money to buy an apartment now, but that would mean giving up the leather business. The hardworker reaches old age in the rented home. One fine day he reads a directive by government to move all the Shanty dwellers in the slum settlement to apartments which will be owned by them. His hardly working friend moves into a swanky new apartment built free for him by the government from tax payers money, while the hard working person dies a nondescript death in the rented apartment, having paid all the taxes on time.

The pretext of equality has long been used to choke fair competition. Any sentence that uses word equality becomes an oxymoron. The concept of equality meant, equal opportunity for privileged and underprivileged alike, however it has long since been modified to mean an equality in opportunity for competent and incompetent alike. Any body who has had a reservation ready for him all through out his life irrespective of the opportunity he had economically or socially automatically stands to be underprivileged against someone who may have had same opportunity but was privileged, since he belonged to open category. Anybody who is rich by his/her own virtue is accused of being a poor hater, he is considered to be privileged and is doomed with the burden of supporting the underprivileged, who may be drunkard spending all his days income on buying country liquor. Any body who earns is a privileged one, and is cursed to pay taxes so that the ones who are too lazy to work, the underprivileged, living on land purchased by government from the taxes paid by the earning class, can be fed and given better place to live in. Is that the equality we strive for?

When equality of privileged v/s underprivileged and not that of competent v/s incompetent is achieved, that would be the day of reason and justice of equality.

                                  

One of the central characters in the famous novel by Ayn Rand, "Atlas shrugged",  asks the other central character

what sort of advice he would give to Atlas upon seeing that "the greater [the titan's] effort, the heavier the world bore down on his shoulders". With him unable to answer, he gives his own response: "To shrug"

The President is coming

With a cup of coffee in one hand and other hand ruffling his hair, he stared blankly at the documents kept in front of him. Just when he was about to give up on it, he saw his enlightened 'boss' coming in, seizing the opportunity, he went up to him.

"Sir, What do I do about this clause?" He asked, keeping the documents on his table.

"Which clause?" The boss replied sheepishly, while checking out the show timings for the newly released movie 'Andaz' starring some new comers like Dilip Kumar, Raj Kapoor and Nargis.

"This clause, sir, In the British constitution, we have the monarchical head, What do we do about it here, in India?" He asked with a sense of hurry.

"We will have a monarchical head as well then" The boss replied in a "Don't-you-know-it-tone".

"Sir, however, our nation has decided to do away with Monarchy, and if anyway we were to select one monarch, who would we select, we have so many kings and emperors." He said, now becoming restless.

"Yes, that is a valid point, we cannot have monarchy" The boss said, now a bit alert.

"Exactly my point, then can we have a president?" He asked curiously.

"Yes, yes, absolutely, let us have a president then" Boss added, impressed by his subordinate


"So then, the people of India will elect the president?" He added, to extract more from his boss.

"No, how can that be? We have made so many drafts incorporating the British constitution, according to which Prime Minister is the head of the country, it will be a lot of rework, if we were to change this." The boss added with authority and already regretting why he ever got impressed by this chap!

"However, the President is supposed to be the commander of armed forces and some other powers like passing the bill etc., What will the PM do, and what if there is a conflict" He added, still trying to keep his point.

"We will give him all the power a president is supposed to have" The boss said, "However, let us have a clause that he can use all these powers only in consultation with the PM" The boss added after seeing the blank look on his subordinate's face.

"This solves it then, thank you sir" He came out, satisfied with the answer and impressed by the solution given by his boss.



The above scenario, to those familiar with the world of IT, may resemble a coder catching up with a team lead with a problem and the team lead providing a work around for it. The above conversation is as fictional in nature as India overtaking China in terms of economy and military might. However, the outcome of the conversation is exactly what happened to India, creation of a ceremonial post.

                                           
On 26th January 1950, India became a Republic. A Republic means , a form of government  in which the people or a significant portion of them have supreme control over the government and where offices of the state are chosen by people. In a nutshell, a state which is not headed by a monarch. But, our constitution makers somehow ended up adding a president as the head of the state, to keep intact, the inspiration.

The president is the Supreme commander of Armed forces, he can dissolve the lok sabha, he can remove the Judges of Supreme courts. He appoints the governor of states, he declares wars on countries and all the diplomatic treaties are signed by him. The President with all these powers may really be the superman of India, however to spoil the party, there is a small rider to it. A president can dissolve the Lok Sabha only on the 'advice' of council of ministers. He can remove the judges of Supreme court, only if a motion has been passed for impeachment in both the houses. He appoints the governor, who can at best be described as a miniature of president at state level. President declares the war against countries, but who decides when to go at war? All the diplomatic treaties are signed by him, but who negotiates the terms of these treaties? No prizes for guessing all of it.

The boundaries of power and advise by counsil for president can easily be said to be thin .Powers, which are diminished by a single sentence in the constitution which says that a president be advised by council of ministers, can still be easily rendered if a President knows how to play 'Politics'(Quoting a former minister Jagjivan Ram here). There have been presidents who haven't taken too kindly too the advise by council of ministers. So we had our very first president Dr. Rajendra Prasad openly opposing the Hindu code bill by Nehru. Giani Zail Singh used pocket of veto in 1986 for Postal bill, whereby, a president can delay his assent to a bill by indefinite time by not actually reviewing it, thus eventually pushing the bill into dustbin. And more recently we had APJ Abdul Kalam sending the modifications to office of profit bill back for reconsideration. And here came one more catch, the president can only send back a bill once. The second time it comes to him, he has to sign it. Smart UPA, ignoring the reconsideration request by Mr. Kalam, sent back the original bill to him.

The above facts and observations raise uneasy and probably blasphemous questions about the creators of our constitution. I have absolutely no doubt over the abilities of the drafting committee, however certain aspects of our constitution , like the ceremonial head of the country, which are lifted directly from the British constitution, make for an shabby copy and paste. Even if we had to have a head of the state, why wasn't a clear demarcation done about the powers he possesses and the powers he can actually wield? Why were the clauses kept  so ambiguous? We have a President, who has a remuneration of Rs 150,000 a month, along with the Rs 220 million spent from annual budget on the activities of the president, who stays in one of the biggest palace in India(Rashtrapati Bhavan), the maintenance of which again is a costly affair. All this, for him to be a dummy in hands of the government,to be used like a rubber stamp, to be the face of the nation, probably the way Shahrukh Khan is the face of the N number of brands he never even uses.

The President will keep coming, irrespective of we needing him or not.

Pakistan: A problem child of a troubled mother

It had been exactly an year since I had not visited my friend's home. Yes, he had traveled to UK for his higher studies, and yes, practically I had no reason to go to his place. But theoretically I had offended his mom and his kid sister. More so his kid sister because her supply of chocolates had been reduced drastically over the past one year. So when he finally came to India for visiting his family, I got an opportunity to wash away my theoretical sins and finally visited his home.

"I am so sorry Gia, I could not visit you for so long, how are you?" I said, trying to sound like an 8 year old
"This is not done, I won't talk to you" She said, sounding haughty.
"Ok, here you go, Is a cadbury good enough deal for you to start talking to me again?" I offered, "Let me make the deal more delicious by making it a cadbury crunchy, How about it?" I added while taking out the chocolate from my pocket
"Yeah it will surely do" she said and snatched the chocolate from my hand. "Can I share it with my Pakistani friend?" she said, showing rare obedience.
"Pakistani friend? How do you know a Pakistani?" I said, showing all possible emotions of confusion.
"Yeah, she comes to school with a white scarf over her head, we all call her a Pakistani" She clarified.
"Ohhh" is all I could say to my this kid's mindset.

A few days later, travelling with the same friend in the suburban rail transport towards the famous VT station, I was talking to him about how south east Asians live in UK. I was recounting, how one of my friend told me that most of the fights in the city of Glasgow are picked up by Pakistanis and eventually leads to Indians being crushed in their fights. Immediately, a bearded guy with a skull cap sitting in front of me, got up and stood in the passage. I looked at my friend and he was nodding his head with his tongue out to indicate that I committed a mistake. Later, he told me, how that guy must have felt that I was talking in context of Muslims being a trouble maker in UK. I wondered how and why?

Almost every cricket lover in India remembers the T-20 cricket world cup triumph of India in South Africa in the summer of 2007. Chak De had just released and Mr. Shahrukh Khan, promoting the movie along with fulfilling his desire to watch an India-Pakistan world cup final, was present in the VIP box waving the Indian flag undeterred. India eventually won the match and SRK went down to give every player a hug. A Hindi news channel whose motto is to deliver news the fastest to its viewers spared no time in interviewing SRK. The last question of the interview went like this:

"SRK, it is known that you are a pathan from Peshawar, and since Peshawar is in Pakistan, how do you feel today, that Pakistan lost the match to India".
A stunned SRK somehow regained his composure and replied
"I am an Indian, proof of which is my passport, I was brought up on Indian values and I was there to support India. Yes, Pakistan had a good team, but I would ALWAYS WANT MY COUNTRY ,INDIA, TO WIN".

Does the news anchor know, that the Bollywood's first family i.e. the Kapoors, also belong to Peshawar. 80% of the Khanna's and Malhotra's in Bollywood are from Pakistani Punjab. Would the anchor dare to ask the same question to Ranbir Kapoor or Rishi Kapoor?

After every terror attack that occurs in this country, before anyone, including the state, central and international agencies and government can condemn the attack, the Muslim community spokesperson(usually a cleric) comes out and strongly condemns the attacks. Any attack should always be condemned by all civilized people, However when the condemnation, although truthful has an element of compulsion in it, it raises questions. Not on the community, but on us and the system. The compulsion to condemn immediately is  due to threats from right wing Hindutva groups, for they, before condemning the attack, bay for Muslim blood "for sowing the seeds of terror". So we have Aamir Khan calling a press conference to condemn the 26/11 attacks and some of  the other big stars could do with a simple tweet or a Facebook update, because they don't have a Khan appended to their name.

As clear, by many ,Muslims are categorized as Pakistanis.How many people know ,that the crescent and star flag which is seen hoisted in any Muslim congregation and is often mistaken to be Pakistani flag , is not a Pakistan flag. It is simply holy to the Muslims. How many people know, that one of the most orthodox Islamic school of thought, the Dar-ul-uloom in Deoband, which is infamous for publishing Fatwas against Sania Mirza for her skirt, Salman Khan for bringing in Ganpati and more recently, Muslim women for going for jobs, was one of the first Muslim organization to out-rightly reject the idea of partition of India into a Muslim Pakistan from the rest of India. It said that Idea of Pakistan was political and there was nothing Islamic about creation of Pakistan. How many people know, that the first paramvir chakra in the republic of India was given to a Muslim named Abdul Hameed in a battle against PAKISTANI forces in 1965 war.
If all Muslims indeed wanted Pakistan, then what can explain the fact that until recently we had more Muslims in our country than Pakistan. It was not very difficult to migrate to Pakistan, which was ready to accept all Muslims with open arms.
Some people may come up with the argument of Indian Mujahidden and SIMI being Indian Muslim terrorist organization, then I can come up with equal number of terrorists organization which are not Muslims. Calling all Muslims Pakistanis and terrorists would be as blasphamous as calling all Tamils as supporters of LTTE , all Sikhs as supporters of Khalistan movement and all North east Indians as Chinese.

For those who read the title of the blog and are confused how the content of the blog is related to the title, the answer is , no, I don't have a problem with Pakistan, it is a beautiful country with beautiful people with a problematic government and Army, however it is the Idea of Pakistan and its eventual creation which is the problem child and  is the sole reason why the integrity of a Muslim is questioned in India,which is the troubled mother. Agreed, that a communal rift has been present in this nation since centuries, but creation of a Muslim theocratic state out of India only led to a bigger feud between the majority and the minority. Had we been together, yes, we would have fought, and fought fiercely, which we still do, but anyone's loyalty to the nation would have been unquestionable.

Omar Abdullah(J&K chief minister) had once famously said in a parliament speech:
"I am Muslim and I am an Indian and I see no distinction between the two"

I stand by his remarks.

Sacrificed Innocence

"I don't think she should be hearing all this, please send her in" Mom pleaded with my Dad.
"She is a 9 year old girl, and she should know fully about the problems we face" He said, "Come out Paramita" He added in an affectionate but stern tone.

"What can it be about?" I said to myself. "Have I done something which has caused embarrassment to the family? Anindita Ma'am did not even call Dad to school this time for not standing first in rankings at school, neither have I pulled hair of my sister Mishti in a long time". Hesitant and embarrassed, I walked out into the room, having been hiding behind  the curtain and listening to the conversation between Mom and Dad all this while.

"So dear, We have been talking about some family problems here, Your elder brother has suffered a total kidney failure and our farm has not produce any good crop this year. We are in a deep financial problem. We have to arrange for a lot of money for your brother to survive or else find a donor for him" He said with a glim of tear in his eye.

"Can we not buy it from shop? I am sure Banwari would have it, he keeps a lot of things in his shop" I said trying to suggest something useful at least.
"No, we need to find a donor for this" He said in a authoritative voice.
"What is a donor, dad?" Trying hard not to sound dumb.
"Dear, a Donor is someone who can donate one of his kidney to someone who has none"
"Ohhh, then can we not give him ?" I said, trying to sound thoughtfully.
"No, one of my kidney is infected too, I can't give him mine" He said, sounding thoroughly disappointed.

And then suddenly, My Mom started crying profusely. "If we don't get a donor or money, Doctors say your brother will die in 1 month, your brother may not have much time left, pari, not much. And we can't even sell off our land, what will we give in dowry for your marriage otherwise?" and she went on crying. And then I did, what was not expected of me, being a big girl now. I started crying too. Hugging my mom, I could not stop myself from sobbing hard, I could feel the pallu of my mom getting wet from our tears. I felt a hand on my head,I looked back. it was my elder brother.

"Don't worry pari, We will manage" he said with a smile.

That is when I decided, I will find a solution to our problems, I cannot see my mother sob, I cannot see my father so tensed and I certainly cannot let my brother die.

"Dadi Maa, how old are you?" I said, in a lost tone.
"Why do you ask, you have become very ill mannered", She said in a very harsh tone
"Can you donate your kidney to my bro, he will die otherwise, please dadi, please.You are old anyway, my brother has such a long time to go". I said, pleading with all my might.
"You Moron, How dare you shorten my age? I have a long life ahead and I am proud of that. If you want your brother to live, why do you ask me? Go give your own kidney" She said, shouting loud enough for the neighbors to hear. "Girls are always waste of resources anyway, and a burden on family, had you not existed, my son wouldn't have had to worry about your dowry" she added scornfully.

Was I really the cause of all this. Is dowry the gift parents give their daughters at marriage? How do I tell them that I don't want any gift, I will marry a rich guy? Dad told me donor is someone who can give a kidney. Can I not donate my kidney? How does one donate a kidney? and what is a kidney?

"You've gone mad" My best friend Suparna exclaimed.
"But why? I think this is the only way I can help my family, Won't you like to join me? We had promised to stay together always, It won't be tough, trust me" I said, trying to sound convincing.
"Go away, Else I will tell Anindita ma'am that you are disturbing me.

My mom had once told me that when times are bad, no body helps, not even your best friends. She was right. I had always trusted Suparna, and today, instead of helping me out, she thought of complaining about me to Anindita ma'am. So many times I had lied to ma'am to save her from the scale whipping by ma'am. But I am a big girl, I can do it alone, I will handle it all alone.

All things were in place, I cross checked everything once again. As I began climbing atop the stool, I remembered something. I got down and opened my drawer. And there it was. I thought of cross checking the letter. Anindita ma'am would be upset if I commit grammatical mistakes. I began reading...

Dear Mom and Dad,
                               I am really sorry, Because of me you could not save money for buying kidney for brother. I wanted to tell you that I do not want any gift after my marriage, I will marry a rich boy, but you wouldn't listen. Hence I decided to give kidney to brother myself. I had even asked Grandmother as well, but she said, she has a long life to live and cannot give her kidney to brother. I tried to find out ways to donate kidney, but couldn't find one. I tried to use a knife and fetch it out, but I did not know where to start looking inside my body. Hence I have decided to leave it for you to decide how to do it upon me. I guess, to donate something, one needs to die first. Hence I am ending my life, so that finally I can be useful to someone. Now you won't have to worry about brother, he will live long now, like grandmother. You even won't have to worry about my dowry gift as well. Please forgive me for giving you all the troubles.
                                                                                  
                                                                                      Yours Paramita


I realized my mistake, scribbled my name and wrote it below yours. I again climbed back on the stool. More determined than ever. I saw the elliptical rope in front of me. I could see everything through it, it didn't look different. I put my neck through it.
 "Would it pain if I do it this way? Does it pain a lot when people die?"
"Ohh, c'mon, it cannot pain more than it did when i broke my finger,it was so painful"
"Yes, it will not pain more than that" 
I smiled and kicked the stool from under me. I am trying hard to breath, but i am unable to catch any air. It is becoming harder. My chest is aching now. I am trying to get back on stool and stand up, but it has fallen too far. I am unable to use my hands or leg. My whole body had gone numb, I can't feel my body..
"Mom.....Broken finger was not this painful...................................."

This is a real story of Mamphy Sarkar of West Bengal who committed suicide on July 04th, 2011 because her brother had kidney failure and father had a degrading vision. She wrote a suicide note asking her family to use her organs, however a bigger tragedy followed, the note was found by the family after they had cremated her. Her Innocence was sacrificed under the burden of the mortal troubles. This blog is a fictional account of the events, only the premise of this blog is the same, and not the entire story.

God bless her soul.

Click here to read the news item of the above girl

Taxonomy into 9

"Bhai......." My kid sister mumbled, perched on my lap and scratching her head
"Yes" I said, expecting one more of her questions, which have increased many folds in her growing up years
"You kept all nine fasts for this Navratri, right? and today is  the last day of it..?"
"Yes, today is the last day of it, from tomorrow, you wont get to eat all the chocolate by yourself"
"Today, mom called 9 girls to feed after some pooja, is that because 9 girls represent 9 Devis?
"Yes" I literally exclaimed. "How do you know so much" asking her inquisitively
"Doesn't matter" she said shrugging off my question "What i wanna know is, does this mean, girls can be of 9 types?"
"ehh...errrr...huh" is all i could say in response.

Although her idea of girls being of only 9 types is an understatement. However, she did actually wash up my thoughts of all girls being of one type. I have written quite a few blogs on girls, always assuming them to be of one single type, but today i venture into a dangerous territory.

So after a lot of pondering on the 'Taxonomy', I came up with the following classification.

1) The eternal whiner-

 

  One of the very common types. Everything in this world has been designed as a scheme by the Gods up there to harass her. She whines when her boss gives them extra work,she whines when she has to cross the road, She whines when she has a friend who doesn't like her nail polish and she whines when her dog doesn't poop the way she wants him to. If you are a guy and interested in her, then giving her the shoulder to cry upon would go a long way in impressing her. But remember, you may be somebody whom she whines to, but it wouldn't be long before you become somebody whom she whines about.

2) The Feeble one-One of the endangered ones among the girls. She thinks that her sole purpose on this planet is to keep quiet and let someone else stand up for her. She is a spitting image of Hema Malini as Sita in "Sita-Gita". If she is shouted upon or scolded upon, she wouldn't think twice before accepting all the blame for the mishappening and chide herself for being reckless. If you are a guy and interested in her, please handle her with care,

3) The Dominant one-

 One of the emerging types among girls. She is exactly a spitting image of Hema Malini as Gita in "Sita-Gita". She never even for a moment thinks  that her ways and opinion are mistaken. She loves to dominate and hates her own type of opposite gender.If you don't do something she does, you are a loser and if you do something she doesn't you are still a loser. So when you are with her, you eat what she eats, you drink what she drinks and you sleep when asks you to sleep. She would be "oh c'mon, you can't be like this" every time you say or do something which she doesn't approve of. If you are a guy and interested in her, keep aside your ego and male chauvinism and just tread the line she wants you to.

4) Legally blonde-

She is drop dead gorgeous, she is dumb and she accepts it. She doesn't make qualms about not being intelligent. On  the contrary she is vocal about not knowing a lot of things(nothing to be honest). Her sole focus in life is to look more beautiful today than she was yesterday. She would be more than happy to delegate the decision making to others. She would finch when you try to infuse any sense into her already small in number ideas. So if you are a guy interested in her, then accept her beauty, ignore her lack of intelligence and accept the decision making process for her, she will be more than happy to be with you.

5) Illegally blonde-

She is drop dead gorgeous, she is dumb and she never accepts it. She thinks that she is  the best creature ever made by God, for she has the looks and the brains. Her focus in life, other than looking more beautiful today than she was yesterday, is  to brag to the world about her 'intelligent ideas'. She would go to any length to prove that "she knows what you are talking about". She would finch whenever you correct her 'knowledge repository'. She wants to make her own decisions and almost every time commits blunders. If  you are a guy interested in her, accept her "Intelligent ideas" and keep reassuring her that she is the most beautiful and intelligent girl you have ever met.

6) Too hot to handle-

 To begin with ,she is smoking hot ,would leave your jaw wide open for a long time when you see her for the first time and best part is that she knows you find her hot. She would never fit the "girl next door" bill. She would almost always shock you with your bold outlook. She never needs reassurance about her 'oomph' factor, she knows it. She would always be out of your reach but she would make sure you try reaching her first. She is the ideal girl friend you can have as a showcase trophy but the last girl you can take to your parent. If you are interested in her, then you have to be her male counterpart, else, you will always be trying.

7) The brainy brawn-

 She is a nerd, a geek and she gracefully accepts all of that. She may be very beautiful, but she thinks looking beautiful is a waste of time. Sometimes she can be intelligent to the level of arrogance. She wouldn't mind correcting you when you are wrong, no matter what the situation be. She may also sometimes come to think that anyone who doesn't match  up to her in intelligence is a trash can. She wants everyone around her to understand her and her ideas at one go, coz she understands  them and their ideas at one go. If you are interested in her then better be intelligent or at least act like one.

8) The career spawn-

 She may or may not be very intelligent, but she is the career focused girl. Anything which comes between her and her way to a successful career is an enemy.Her sole aim is to reach the top of the ladder, mostly by hook i.e, by hard work but if need be, she wouldn't mind being a crook. If you are a guy interested in her then prove to her that going around with you will be a profitable venture for her and her career.

9) The one-

 Yes, the elusive one. Some sightings of this now believed to be extinct type have been reported, but the reports haven't been corroborated with evidence. She is the perfect girl which guys so often describe. All of the above girl types listed above would like to believe that they fit into this category. Her description as given by guys makes many think that finding a girl with such characteristics is an achievable dream,alas not. Just take out anything negative or offensive from the above types and combine them and put it into one girl and you have the perfect one. If you are a guy interested in her, then please contact and let me know about her location, I have been waiting to meet one like this all my life.

PS- If any of you can come up with further classification, do let me know. After all, taxonomy of girls is never accurate and certainly never easy,Charles Darwin would agree. 

Fundamental Rights:Re-Defined

"So do you remember it now?" My mom said, with a smile, she knew she had won it,finally..


It has been more than 10  years since I last learnt them, our Fundamental rights, guaranteed to us by our constitution. To say the least, I was embarrassed , that all I could remember about them was their count i.e 6. My mom asked me, at least name them with proper definitions and I could only name 2-3 of them. 'Shame on you' she muttered as she went in fetched an old dust ridden Civics text book and asked me to skim through. Which I did. And this time I understood what it actually meant in present context(I admit, I mugged them up for exams in 7th std). 

I am sure, there are many like me who studied the fundamental rights only for Social Sciences(सामाजिक विज्ञानं ) . Here they are, simplified, in sync with year 2011.

1) Right to equality, including equality before law, prohibition of discrimination on grounds of religion, race, caste, sex or place of birth, and equality of opportunity in matters of employment- 

 It means that the State cannot discriminate any of the Indian citizens on the basis of their caste, creed, colour, sex,gender, religion or place of birth. However, its a law of nature that no two humans are equal. Lets understand it better. 

    On the religious front, the constitution guarantees that no discrimination will be done with minorities, however, if the BJP led NDA alliance is ruling, its is requested of the minorities to please adjust,you sometimes not find employment in govt due to your religion. If you are in Mumbai, you may also not be able  to rent or buy a flat in some of the posh buildings,hence you are encouraged  to live in minority populated areas.

The Constitution also considers every caste equal,and strongly believes that no one should harbor any castist ideology. However, it has made a provision of reservation for the backward classes. The constitution assures that the govt will try in its entire capacity to ensure that this reservation policy reaches to every member of the backward class and not the affluent few. The Constitution also requests the members of open category to forego any castist attitude, against any caste or the reservation system itself(even if they are suffering because of it) as it is a punishable offence to do so. The reservation system may tend to make castes unequal further,but the sole aim of the constitution is to ensure no caste is discriminated upon, really!.

2) Right to freedom of speech and expression, assembly, association or union, movement, residence, and right to practice any profession or occupation

but...

some of these rights are subject to security of the State, friendly relations with foreign countries, public order, decency or morality.

Every Artist, be it writer, film maker  or a painter also come under the purview of Freedom of speech and expression. However, the expression or speech should any of the millions of communities or tribes. It should also not offend some of  the lesser civilized political parties, because otherwise a law and order situation may arise which the state is not in capacity to handle, not to mention the threat to your life. It is hence suggested that a prior review be done in consent with all the communities and political parties before expressing your polarized views.

Constitution also gives you the right to assembly and association, however , if your union or association is not backed by any political party, its not gonna be dissolved. Hence before forming an association, make sure you have the blessings of any one of the political party's high command.

You can also live in any part of India freely, however if you are in Mumbai, you need to know Marathi and present yourself as a Marathi, better still, stay away from it. You also cannot practice any profession  in Mumbai because you are not the "Son of the Soil", if you try to , you may end up facing the wrath of lesser civilized political parties. If you intend to visit Chennai, please make sure you don't use any other language than Tamil.

Keeping above precautions in mind, the constitution guarantees you your Freedom.

3) Right against exploitation, prohibiting all forms of forced labor, child labour and traffic in human beings-

The right against exploitation, provides for two provisions, namely the abolition of trafficking in human beings and forced labor. Child labor is a heinous crime, and anyone who employs a child below 14 years is guilty under Indian law. However, this would apply to only those kids working in tea stalls or garbage collection. Any kid working for the entertainment industry doesn't come under the category of child labor, the basic premise may be same, a kid working for something and getting paid, but kids working in entertainment industry are affluent and are doing a novel job. Also the child labor rule may be exempted for contractors undertaking civic construction contracts for development of cities and towns. A kid taking part in such development will be a proud contributor in country's development after all.

4) Right to freedom of conscience and free profession, practice, and propagation of religion-

Right to freedom of religion grants religious freedom to all citizens of India. The objective of this right is to sustain the principle of secularism in India. According to the Constitution, all religions are equal before the State and no religion shall be given preference over the other. Citizens are free to preach, practice and propagate any religion of their choice. 

However it is entirely alright, if any particular religious community decides to propagate their religion by sometimes force and at other times lending money to poor people and asking them to convert and not return the money(in the name of LORD).

Also if however, any religious community(or a member thereof) doesn't follow the above mentioned ways of propagating religion and tries to spread the religion only in the name of God and and teachings of religion, he may have to face the wrath of people like Dara Singh in Orrisa and the person(s) run a high risk of being burnt alive in their sleep,be careful!

5) Right of any section of citizens to conserve their culture, language or script, and right of minorities to establish and administer educational institutions of their choice-

As India is a country of many languages, religions, and cultures, the Constitution provides special measures, in Articles 29 and 30, to protect the rights of the minorities. Any community which has a language and a script of its own has the right to conserve and develop it. No citizen can be discriminated against for admission in State or State aided institutions.

However, as noted in the exceptions of rights above, your language or script should not offend any of the lesser civilized political parties. If you are in any regional city, you have to completely forget your culture and adopt the local culture. The local state government will help your cause printing all the official documents only in vernacular language and if you cannot cooperate and don't get a job or admission, please don't claim discrimination on basis of language . 

The Central government in its endeavor to make Hindi as official language of the nation, has decided to document everything in Hindi.So anybody who doesn't understand Hindi well enough, please find a tutor(Constitution also provides for free education!). The Hindi curriculum in school will be so heavily तत्सम (Tatsam-Sanskritized) that every instance of Urdu/Hindustani will be erased and eventually making Hindi and Sanskrit a single language.

6) Right to constitutional remedies for enforcement of Fundamental Rights. -

Right to constitutional remedies empowers the citizens to move a court of law in case of any denial of the fundamental rights. For instance, in case of imprisonment, the citizen can ask the court to see if it is according to the provisions of the law of the country. If the court finds that it is not, the person will have to be freed. 

However, the constitution doesn't take into account the time it may take for justice to be delivered, it is left on the better judgement of the citizen using this right to take into account these factors. It may also happen that the government out of fear of losing in the next election, declare a National emergency to get its working sorted eg. 1975 emergency, in such a case, this right first, and every other right will cease to be effective.

Other than the citizens, the Constitution also provides for anyone who is not a citizen to file a  habeas corpus against any detention, the person in question may have been someone who may have killed 100 people in front of 100 witnesses, but our divine constitution doesn't differentiate, when it comes to judiciary!


So these were the new definitions of the Fundamental rights as defined in our constitution. Either the makers of constitution were terribly mistaken or may be the subsequent generations in India managed to tweak the constitution. What goes without saying is, today, the original definitions don't hold true.


In today's India, only a child in womb is the one who is equal to every other child in womb, the moment it decides to come out, his future,status and his equality would be decided by the condition of hospital he is born in(Lilawati, or Rajawadi!).

Immobile life

10..9..8..7..6

Cutting through the late night traffic in Mumbai on my sweet pulsar I saw last few seconds of the traffic light being green before it turned red

"I can make it, c'mon" I said under my breath

5..4..3..2..1

"Should I stop?"

"No I think I should move on"

"Oh shit, the car from other side has already started moving, SOS, apply breaks, quick quick quick"

"Why the F*** is my bike wobbling?"

"Oh shit,I have fallen down, why the hell ME, why  me GOD?"

And there I was,down and out besides my bike right in the middle of the road under the Ghatkopar(E) flyover . Trying to act as if it was a minor accident, I got up instantly and tried  to lift my bike up, in an instant, everything around me seemed hazy, an excruciating pain shot up through my left shoulder, I felt it, and the bones seemed a bit out of shape and I knew I have a broken collar bone. A few good Samaritans pulled the bike up and asked me to sit near a pole, I started with a step and fumbled, and knew, that my ankle doesn't seem alright.

I decided to give shocks to my family in installments rather than at one go, so Shock 1) I called up my dad and told him that I have taken a fall, come and pick me up. Shock 2) When he came I told him, I may have a broken shoulder. Shock 3) When we reached hospital, the X-ray showed I have a broken leg as well.

However destiny reserved its biggest shocks for me, Shock 1) When in a casual tone the doctor told me, I need to undergo my first ever surgery for ankle repair and I ll have stay in hospital  for a week.

With drop of water dripping on your head and your hands and legs tied, this form of Chinese torture is considered to be the worst, but I beg to differ. I say, put a normal, agile and active person in hospital in immobile condition, and thats the worst torture. And when you are admitted into the hospital just a day before the semi final match of India-Pakistan, and the hospital doesn't even have TV, it becomes a living hell. So here I was, lying straight on a hospital bed with a broken left hand and a broken right leg. My daily routine started off at 4 am when the staff woke me up to take a bath(which I could never take due to my extreme immobility), then the same staff would ask me to sleep again, amidst their loud shouting and conversation. At 8 am, they used to serve Bread butter(Hardly any butter visible) and tomato soup(all I could see was red water). Followed by this, I was allowed a few visitors. Visitors quite understandably had only one query, how did this happen. Initially, I explained everything out of my pain and enthusiasm and agony of being immobile. But after a day or two it became a monotonous  routine. Every middle aged visitor had only one conclusion, Bikes kill, which was never encouraging.That one week was so boring, that i still remember the pattern of a patch on the wall above and ceiling fan.

Coming home after a week to home with a heavily laden plastered leg and an extremely delicate shoulder, I was showered with all the home made delicacies. Visitors who missed out cribbing about bike travel at hospital, came to meet me at home to finally crib about it. Almost everyone either brought a bouquet or fruits, fed up with gifts which I couldn't use I had to tell my friends to bring something like chocolates which only "I alone" can enjoy. However, in absence of wheel chair, I was left to the mercy of my poor revolving chair(which became my mode of transport for a lot of weeks to come!). With only one leg and one hand active, even my daily chores were very difficult for me to handle by myself. Occasionally, I would move my shoulder out of habit in sleep and I would get up shouting in pain.

Finally after two weeks, doctor removed my stitches(I have talked about pain so much, that it would look petty if I talk about the pain of removing stitches) and advised me to take physiotherapy sessions. Two weeks after experiencing excruciating pain of a broken bone, I experienced the next level of pain. Day after day, the physiotherapist went on tearing into my leg, a movement by even a few degrees gave me jitters(This went on for Eight more weeks). While my leg was being tortured, my shoulder was quietly recovering and after four weeks, it became more mobile and less painful, which came as a relief, because now, some of my daily chores were now managed by myself.

Any one who has fractured bone will ask only one question to the doctor, "How much time will the bone take to heal?" and the answer would be six weeks. I counted each day and each week for six weeks. And away I went to the doctor the day I completed 6 weeks. He advised more physiotherapy, and destiny gave me shock  2) The doctor prescribed a walker to me and I was expecting to walk straight away on my two legs the moment my accident turned 6 weeks old. The walker was to be used for 4 weeks!.

After gaining enough confidence of using the walker, I decided to join my office back. I was glad to see my office desk back, though I had never thought I would miss it, but 8 weeks of absence from office and immobility made me realize that there are things more boring than office. All my team members swarmed my desk inquiring about my health. I was pampered to no end by my team mates. The watchman at the access gate asked me to get a special card made, Surprised at his suggestion I asked him why, and he pointed at  the walker, indicating my disability, while I was talking to the watchman, a girl asked me if she could fetch an auto for me, and I realized what a disabled person goes through, he/she doesn't need help, they need acceptance, that they can manage things on their own, We try to help them on pettiest of things, trying to be good. I  denied the offer and thanked the girl for her offer(which under normal circumstances I would never reject!).

And now I am writing this blog on a day when I have finally started walking normally with a stick(quite normal considering what I had gone through over last 11 weeks). This accident has virtually taken 12 weeks of my life, but these 12 weeks have been memorable for me. But these are some memories I would never like to re-encounter!

PS- God forbid if you are in such a situation, never reject a girls offer, because this offer may offend your ego now, but it will always boost your love. Don't let ego kill love!