Showing posts with label Girls. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Girls. Show all posts

Sunday, August 26, 2012

Nascent fragility

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I am born- 
Yes, I am finally born, after being inside for almost 9 months, I am finally out. This is the first time I see light, it is so bright outside. I am telling the person holding me, to cover my eyes, IT IS SO BRIGHT, I am shouting, But, why is this person smiling? 'Ouch' ,Suddenly, this person hits me hard on my bum, WHY, I shout again, And now, someone else is holding me, Oh, wait, it must be Mother, I can sense her. Now, she is crying and smiling. I keep telling her, cover my eyes, but she isn't listening to me. Wait, I can sense my own tears, is it that they don't understand my language, or is my language crying, I reckon its the latter. I sense a few more people coming in, It is my dad, I have heard his voice from inside, but he is not smiling, he is making strange faces. He puts his hand behind my back to lift me, Holds me mid-air and drops me in an instant. It hurt, and I shout at him too, DON'T LIFT ME IF YOU CANNOT HANDLE ME, but, he ignores me and goes away. I have shouted too much , I am tired now, and I doze off. I dream about a lot of brightness and light, after all, this was the first time I saw what light is!



I start crawling on my knees-
Yippee, I can move around the house by myself. My mom drops me on the floor after I wake up, and I realise that I can keep my body stable on my knees.I try moving forward, and that is it, this is the moment I had been waiting for. It was so nagging, to shout, correction, crying(yes I realised that I actually cry when I am trying to shout) , every time I wanted to move around from my place. Not anymore. The first thing I do after starting move around is reach out to my father, I haven't seen him in a long time. I see him standing in the aisle, I go up to him and tuck at his trousers. He looks down at me and makes a strange face. He moves aside, I again go up to him and tuck at his trousers. And, suddenly I am flying, My chest hurts, Did he hit me? Before I can fathom that, I hit the floor, my head is spinning, Everything I see is blurred. My whole body is in a state of pain. And this time, I actually cry. My mother lifts me, I shout at her to put me down, I want to move around, but I can't shout, my body hurts when I try to shout. Crying and shouting takes a toll on me, and I doze off. I wake up, only to look at the first face I saw when I came outside. I cry and tell her, that I still haven't forgotten the hit on my bum. But she is gentle this time, She takes me in her arms and rubs my body. I feel better now, the pain is disappearing slowly. I smile, and tell her, Apologies accepted.

I start walking around-
I know, you will call me a cry baby(talk of ironies!) if I tell you that it is boring to be crawling around, so one fine day, with tired and scrapped knees, I catch hold of the chair and try lifting myself. No, I am not always successful in my endeavors, and, I fall down. But I don't give up, Next day, I try the same stunt, and this time, I am lucky. I stand tall, everything seems so small to me. I see my milk bottle, wow, it looks so small now, I look at my mother, she is smiling, I smile back to her and tell her, very soon, I will be as tall as you. I try moving forward, but I fall, it hurt, but I am too excited to cry. I get up again and try moving forward, this time, I don't fall. I slowly start moving around the home. It is so much faster to move around like this.With each passing day, my speed of moving around increases. Each day, I make sure that I don't end up disturbing my father. One day, while my usual moving around the house, I felt a wet sensation in my bottoms, oops, I did it again, I realised later, that the timing is so terrible. I see my father standing, right across the room. He glares at me and comes to me with a great speed, wow, I want to move that fast one day. He picks me up, finally,I thought my father has picked me, finally, I will sleep in his lap, but, again go flying across, and it hurts again. He comes up to me again and raises his hand to my cheek, my cheeks are warm, and I sense something gushing out of my lips. My mom snatches me from father just before I dozed off again. When I wake up, I see the bum hitter lady again. I like her now, though. She rubs my body again, I feel warm, but all my pain doesn't go away now. She flashes a pointy thing to me, and pinches it on my arm and I doze off again.

I speak my first word-
Ok, I exaggerated this, I cant speak words, but then I can make some sounds similar to what my mom does. I don't know how, and I don't know why, but, the first word I speak, is 'Paa'. I don't know what it means, But sometime back, I heard a person, little taller than me, calling someone 'Paa' and I picked it up. I think, now, I won't have to cry when I feel like shouting. These people should now understand what I am saying. So, whenever I am angry, I say 'Paa'. Whenever I am happy, I say 'Paa'. My mother smiles every time I say 'Paa', even if I am shouting, she smiles. I think, crying was better, they don't understand their own language anymore. So, I decide to revert to my old language, but occasionally, I use their language as well. One day, I woke up when it wasn't bright yet. I sense that I wet my bottom again, and I still remember what happened, when I wet my bottoms while my father was around. I see two people around me. One of it is mother and other is my father, I can sense both of them, but which one is mother, I don't know. My bottoms feel itchy now, I want to call out my Mother, so I reach out to her and shout 'PAA'. She gets up and I hear a click and its suddenly bright again. Wait, it is not mother, it is father, whom I shouted to. He picks me up again, but I don't go flying across. But the way he has picked me, it hurts my arm. I am in his arms, till I suddenly feel breeze on my face. It is so pleasant. And again, after spending considerable(and probably the most) time in my father's arms, I go flying across. I wait for the pain to come, But I am still flying. I am enjoying this Wow, is this a dream. I feel so light, I am moving so fast. It feels great. How am I still flying? And then comes the pain, but the pain is momentary, I cannot feel my body, my vision is fading, but I see my mother rushing to me, but before she reaches me, I doze off again.

The brightness again!
I wake up, and never since my birth, has the brightness hurt me. "IT IS TOO BRIGHT", I shout out.

"You will get used to it child" a pleasant voice replies
"Ohh, so you understand my language, Who are you, and how do you speak my language, are you the person who hit my bum when I was born, but you had a different voice!" I ask, refraining from asking too many questions.
"I am your culprit, my child, I am the one who created you" the voice replies
"Where is my mother, and where is my father?" I ask inquisitively
"I am sorry, but, I won't be sending you back to them. You stay with me for sometime" He replies in the same pleasant monotone
"Promise me, that you won't send me flying across if I wet my bottoms, or shout 'PAA' from time to time" I say, trying to strike a deal
"I promise you, that, next time, I would not make you a Human"

Baby Falak in ICU

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This blog post  is dedicated to the victims of baby assaults, in particular, baby Falak and baby Tanaaz, who died from continuous and calculated brutal physical assaults on them. While you are reading this, there are babies being assaulted all over the world, for crying too much, or for being a financial burden, or due to a drunken rage and worse, for being being a GIRL.

What can be the justification for an act of assaulting someone who is so helpless that he can't even stand on his feet. What can justify the act of assaulting someone, who doesn't even know what assault is, who he is being assaulted by or why he is being assaulted. Such a crime, should not be treated as homicide due to negligence, rather, it should be treated as a murder in cold blood. I truly believe in the saying, "An eye for an eye will make the whole world blind" , but , if criminals convicted for such acts are let away with only long prison sentences and not capital punishment , then, I would rather stay in a blind world than live in world with such living demons.

Read Baby Falak news item
Read Baby Tanaaz news item

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Sunday, April 15, 2012

Better sorry than late

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"You are no longer a fresher" I said to myself as I entered the bay of my new project. I looked around and indeed, I was no longer a fresher, before I even got my new desk, my "would be" team mates started seeking my help in resolving a few technical glitches,the managers started introducing me to the various teams. However, I wasn't bothered about the technical glitches or knowing what work other teams did. I wanted my desk, I wanted my machine, I had a lot to be done before I settled down, and more importantly I wanted to know or rather see who am I sitting next to.

"Does anyone actually sit here ,Kuldeep?"  I asked the guy seated on a desk next to the empty desk besides me.
"No, not really, there used to be a guy sitting here from a different project, I guess he left the company, some fresher is going to replace him soon" He said with a shrug

"Please God, let it be a girl, No, a good looking girl, no ,a Hot girl, but a girl" I prayed, and sometimes, as I learned, Gods do give you a hearing.

"Excuse me", I heard a soft feminine voice calling me out, " Is it your bag? Can you keep it over the table, so that I can sit on this chair?" I looked up from my screen to see the most pretty girl(yet) in the entire bay standing next to me.


"Hail the Almighty"

"Hey, yeah ,uhhh, sure, Sorry" I fumbled with my word and my bag as I pulled it out of her chair.
"Hey, I think I should ask her name"
"You gone nuts? She did not even say a thank you when you pulled your bag, show some self respect, moron!"  A devil named ego shouted from inside me and I caved in to his roar

I gathered that her name was Jagriti, at least that's what her desk name plate said. She had a simple routine to her day. She would come in at 9 am, put her bag on her chair and disappear with a small hand bag for around 10 mins and come back with a glowing skin and amazingly flowing hair. She would then sit at her desk, to probably check out some mails and after doing this for exactly 5  mins she would then  pull out some meal vouchers from her purse and head for the cafeteria returning only an hour later. 15-20 minutes into her work after coming, she would shout out, "Nareshhhhhhhh, this piece of code sucks, how is one expected to debug this?" This guy Naresh would then spend an hour trying to fix her code, while he would fix her code, she would attend a few calls from her numerous friends(because I never heard the same name appended to her 'Hi' when she answered her call). After the tiring code fixing session, she would go to the break out to get some tea. And after calling out, Suresh and Jignesh to fix a sucking piece of code after lunch, she would sit down, surfing sites which always put a smile on her face, the shopping websites. The way she got engrossed in those sites made me feel that she could (window)shop online no end. And then it was time again, she would pick her small hand bag and storm out again, only to come back 10 mins later with glowing face and flowing hair. She would then pick up her rest of the stuff and leave for the day.

I observed her routine for a month and I was surprised by her dedication to this routine of hers. And yes, once in a while if she ever met my eye, she would give out a broad smile, sending my pulse racing.

"I think it is time I introduce myself"
"You think you are too smart? Has she even tried to introduce herself?"
"Enough, Sometimes, no, always, guys have to take the first step, don't you see how broad a smile she gives me when she meets my eye?"
"Fine, go to hell, do whatever you feel like"


"Hey, Is your machine connected to the printer? I need a print out" I finally spoke to her, one month after fumbling with words
"Yeah, why? Isn't yours connected?" She asked in a MATTER-OF-FACT tone
"No, My LAN cable doesn't seem to be working" I said, a white lie
"Okay, here is your print out" She held out the print out for me, it only had my name in bold letters written on it.
"By the way, that's my name on the print out" I said with a wide grin, priding myself for being smart
"Oh and this is my name" She held out her desk name plate on which Jagriti was written in bold. " I am planning to go for tea" she added suddenly, probably in a care-to-join tone

"Is it a statement or an invitation?"
"Sit tight, moron, don't pay heed to her, she is a fresher, you stop acting like one, don't accept her invitations so soon"


"Ohh Great, the masala tea in the cafe is great, you should surely try it" I said in a it-was-me-who-told-you-first tone.
"Cool", she turned around and left. And while she was leaving I thought I heard her muttering the word 'stupid'.

"Today is my birthday, I will offer her the chocolates at my desk and she would surely demand a treat, I would then take her out to an exclusive restaurant, a date, just me and her"
"Utopian dreams"
"Go to hell, I am not paying heed to your thoughts today"


"Hey, why don't you have some chocolates, it is my birthday today" I extended her a box of chocolates.
"Ohh, Happy birthday" She smiled as she picked up a chocolate.
"Well......" I said, hoping she would demand a treat.
"Ohhh, well"
"Here she goes, Hail Almighty"
"I too have sweets for you, I got engaged this weekend" She said with the widest grin I had ever seen on her face
"Uh-huh, I am on a diet, congratulations by the way" I said, trying hard to hide my disappointment
"And ,I won't be taking a print out to tell his name, It's Akshat" She said giving a hi-five to Naresh who had just joined.

In the following week, she took a long leave of absence, and the next thing I heard was that she had applied for a name change in the company database. Her Facebook profile read her name as "Jagriti Verma Mittal". She returned a month later wearing a bright red Saree and loads of bangles on both her wrists. An hour later, I got a mail from her titled sweets at my desk. I turned to see her opening two boxes of sweets. I picked one up and gulped it down. She looked at me and gave me her regular broad smile. A few hours later, some girls turned up at her desk and spoke to each other intermittently when they got some time off from their giggling. An hour later a few more girls turned up and to the relief of bay, took her outside for some more giggling.
As "Her day" neared an end, she came to me,

"Hey, This is also my last day in office, it was nice meeting you" She offered a hand for shaking. " Also, the next  time I see you, I will surely have the masala tea" she giggled and left the bay for the final time.


"Excuse me, would you please take your bag off this chair, so that I can sit" I looked up from my screen on hearing a strong feminine voice

"Hail the Almighty, circle of life, law of averages!"


"Yeah sure" I picked up my bag from the chair " By the way, my name is Abhishek" I said while extending a hand for handshake.

"I am not going to showcase my bloated ego this time"

"Hey Hi, my name is Khushi" She said, taking my hand
"Do you mind a tea with me?"
"Sure, why not" Way to go, genius! "However I usually have my tea with my boyfriend, do you mind if he joins us?" She said with a smile on her face
"Oh, wait a second, I guess I just got some work, why don't you go ahead"
"Sure, never mind, sometime later" She smiled and started moving
"Do try the masala tea in the cafe, it is rumored to be good out here" I said aloud while she was exiting from the

"Better be sorry, than late" The voice inside me said aloud!






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Thursday, October 6, 2011

Taxonomy into 9

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"Bhai......." My kid sister mumbled, perched on my lap and scratching her head
"Yes" I said, expecting one more of her questions, which have increased many folds in her growing up years
"You kept all nine fasts for this Navratri, right? and today is  the last day of it..?"
"Yes, today is the last day of it, from tomorrow, you wont get to eat all the chocolate by yourself"
"Today, mom called 9 girls to feed after some pooja, is that because 9 girls represent 9 Devis?
"Yes" I literally exclaimed. "How do you know so much" asking her inquisitively
"Doesn't matter" she said shrugging off my question "What i wanna know is, does this mean, girls can be of 9 types?"
"ehh...errrr...huh" is all i could say in response.

Although her idea of girls being of only 9 types is an understatement. However, she did actually wash up my thoughts of all girls being of one type. I have written quite a few blogs on girls, always assuming them to be of one single type, but today i venture into a dangerous territory.

So after a lot of pondering on the 'Taxonomy', I came up with the following classification.

1) The eternal whiner-

 


  One of the very common types. Everything in this world has been designed as a scheme by the Gods up there to harass her. She whines when her boss gives them extra work,she whines when she has to cross the road, She whines when she has a friend who doesn't like her nail polish and she whines when her dog doesn't poop the way she wants him to. If you are a guy and interested in her, then giving her the shoulder to cry upon would go a long way in impressing her. But remember, you may be somebody whom she whines to, but it wouldn't be long before you become somebody whom she whines about.

2) The Feeble one-One of the endangered ones among the girls. She thinks that her sole purpose on this planet is to keep quiet and let someone else stand up for her. She is a spitting image of Hema Malini as Sita in "Sita-Gita". If she is shouted upon or scolded upon, she wouldn't think twice before accepting all the blame for the mishappening and chide herself for being reckless. If you are a guy and interested in her, please handle her with care,

3) The Dominant one-
 One of the emerging types among girls. She is exactly a spitting image of Hema Malini as Gita in "Sita-Gita". She never even for a moment thinks  that her ways and opinion are mistaken. She loves to dominate and hates her own type of opposite gender.If you don't do something she does, you are a loser and if you do something she doesn't you are still a loser. So when you are with her, you eat what she eats, you drink what she drinks and you sleep when asks you to sleep. She would be "oh c'mon, you can't be like this" every time you say or do something which she doesn't approve of. If you are a guy and interested in her, keep aside your ego and male chauvinism and just tread the line she wants you to.

4) Legally blonde-
She is drop dead gorgeous, she is dumb and she accepts it. She doesn't make qualms about not being intelligent. On  the contrary she is vocal about not knowing a lot of things(nothing to be honest). Her sole focus in life is to look more beautiful today than she was yesterday. She would be more than happy to delegate the decision making to others. She would finch when you try to infuse any sense into her already small in number ideas. So if you are a guy interested in her, then accept her beauty, ignore her lack of intelligence and accept the decision making process for her, she will be more than happy to be with you.

5) Illegally blonde-
She is drop dead gorgeous, she is dumb and she never accepts it. She thinks that she is  the best creature ever made by God, for she has the looks and the brains. Her focus in life, other than looking more beautiful today than she was yesterday, is  to brag to the world about her 'intelligent ideas'. She would go to any length to prove that "she knows what you are talking about". She would finch whenever you correct her 'knowledge repository'. She wants to make her own decisions and almost every time commits blunders. If  you are a guy interested in her, accept her "Intelligent ideas" and keep reassuring her that she is the most beautiful and intelligent girl you have ever met.

6) Too hot to handle-
 To begin with ,she is smoking hot ,would leave your jaw wide open for a long time when you see her for the first time and best part is that she knows you find her hot. She would never fit the "girl next door" bill. She would almost always shock you with your bold outlook. She never needs reassurance about her 'oomph' factor, she knows it. She would always be out of your reach but she would make sure you try reaching her first. She is the ideal girl friend you can have as a showcase trophy but the last girl you can take to your parent. If you are interested in her, then you have to be her male counterpart, else, you will always be trying.

7) The brainy brawn-
 She is a nerd, a geek and she gracefully accepts all of that. She may be very beautiful, but she thinks looking beautiful is a waste of time. Sometimes she can be intelligent to the level of arrogance. She wouldn't mind correcting you when you are wrong, no matter what the situation be. She may also sometimes come to think that anyone who doesn't match  up to her in intelligence is a trash can. She wants everyone around her to understand her and her ideas at one go, coz she understands  them and their ideas at one go. If you are interested in her then better be intelligent or at least act like one.

8) The career spawn-
 She may or may not be very intelligent, but she is the career focused girl. Anything which comes between her and her way to a successful career is an enemy.Her sole aim is to reach the top of the ladder, mostly by hook i.e, by hard work but if need be, she wouldn't mind being a crook. If you are a guy interested in her then prove to her that going around with you will be a profitable venture for her and her career.

9) The one-
 Yes, the elusive one. Some sightings of this now believed to be extinct type have been reported, but the reports haven't been corroborated with evidence. She is the perfect girl which guys so often describe. All of the above girl types listed above would like to believe that they fit into this category. Her description as given by guys makes many think that finding a girl with such characteristics is an achievable dream,alas not. Just take out anything negative or offensive from the above types and combine them and put it into one girl and you have the perfect one. If you are a guy interested in her, then please contact and let me know about her location, I have been waiting to meet one like this all my life.

PS- If any of you can come up with further classification, do let me know. After all, taxonomy of girls is never accurate and certainly never easy,Charles Darwin would agree. 
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